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Good morning all.
I certainly now understand what The Enforcer said...there comes a point when you're trying to figure out what your blog is all about, and there are days when you wonder what you're about to write. It's been one of those days.
I have had the last few weeks thinking. There are some changes at work (my coworker quit, leaving me with his projects), Husbandido and I have settled into our third year of marriage. I'm not getting any younger (geez). My brother, Buff, is getting married. I look around at my friends, many of whom you already know, and we're all gleefully moving on with our lives and well, instead of heading to the club, our gatherings are brunches. I'm not complaining. It's just cute to see where our lives have gone.
The latest project I've been working on is the Babychase. Over the last year, we've been trying to start our family. One little tyke to get us up and running. Husbandido is getting pestered by moms. It's hilarious (to an extent): "When you go to Hawaii, you should have a baby!" Great. No Pressure. Just multiply this by every time we go away somewhere. Make a baby! Have some sex!
When you're programmed your whole life to not have sex, the day people start pushing you to do it is a very strange one indeed.
Part of my process at this time is watching what I'm eating...and that alone is interesting. My food journal (yes I have one, shut up), is comedy. I'm currently obsessed with fruit. Go figure. I've considered even going back to meat (no go) because I'd love to have some protein. But nah, no meat for me. I'll figure it out. At any rate, that's been interesting.
Doctor's appointments have been fun: poking, prodding, lubing, and chatting. I had a notebook full of questions, and she took it from my hand and shot back all the answers. Nice. No nonsense, and that's how business is done in fertilityland. I can't complain about my doctor, though, she's cool. Smart too. And yes, Husbandido knows her from work. Great.
More details from the Babychase when we get to it. Hopefully it won't take that long to update you all, but you know how that goes. I'll be in touch!
Voodoo
It's Saturday, a plain day, honestly. I've needed to get some time to myself just to think or to get my head on right. But first some updates. When I got back on Monday night, I made sure to get up early so I can head to see the derm staff on Tuesday AM. Seeing them, they were all very concerned. Problem with me is that I don't like being fussed over. It's weird for me, but that's just how I roll. Maybe that's why I waited a few days before even calling them. At any rate, the nurses all came by to see how I was doing, and they were awfully concerned. I went through a therapy later that day, even though I wasn't scheduled to, and I'm really happy to say that I'm doing very well these days. I'm not red and angry (if you have a skin disorder you know what I mean by angry), and I'm pink and squishy now. Mucho mahalo for the emails. They really helped me not go mental.
I rarely am on the verge of tears, but this experience really pushed me in that direction. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but strangely enough, after I made the call, I started to feel much better. I wonder if part of my lesson in this, because I really believe that there's a lesson everywhere, dammit, was that it's okay for me to ask for help. I have a real doctor's appointment on Monday, and I'll follow up with you guys then.
This morning we went to Princess's baptism. It was a nice affair, and it was strange to be maybe the only people of color there. It was cute, though. I love Princess; she seems to have a neat energy coming from her. We spent the reception hanging out with Princess' grandparents. We had a great conversation with seemingly different perspectives (they were East Coasters with conversativo backgrounds and were probably uber rich), but it was cool. One of them was an EE professor, and you know husbandido got into that.
Afterwards, we headed off to Stonestown to get my swatch watch replaced. Damn thing broke on the first day at Hawaii. I was a little frustrated because they didn't have a good replacement, so I had to suck it up and get another watch, but oh well. That's done. Hungry, we headed off to Fuddrucker's. I don't know why we picked that place, but I really like their turkey burgers!
Afterwards at the house, we pretty much passed out. Champagne from this morning and turkey burgers make for good napping material. Now I'm stuck watching football (yippee) and waiting for dinner. I know this is a boring update, but I'm happy with how I spent today. I like to relax as much as possible because it really gives me an opportunity to stop and think about where I am and what I need to get doing. But it also gives me a chance to breathe. It helped that today was a beautiful day.
Anyways, I'll be writing soon. There are some interesting things coming up: the beginning of school, the departure of my program coordinator, and the hiring process for that program coordinator. Tomorrow, we're going to head to SJ to pick up my Wii (damn you for forgetting to bring it back, kids!) and to catch Etcha at his show opening.
Hope you're doing well...I am. Thankfully.
Voodoo
PS: Been keeping a food/spending diary. God.
I have swelling ankles. I guess the heat and humidity (which aren't that bad) are affecting me. Either that or it's that lame ass flare up I'm going through. Either way, I am the proud owner of cankles. Shit.
Voodoo
Ahh. So the doctor's office pulled through and got me some good strong meds. I have what they call high potency steroids now, and I'm feeling much much better, thanks. I am here at the house with one of the other folks I came out here with. A couple went home today, so there are six of us in the house. We are just hanging out. I'm honestly tired of running around, and it's exactly part of the trip I didn't want to deal with. But that's life, and might as well get out and about, right? At any rate, I'm glad to be here at the house with only one other person, blogging for you!
Yesterday, we went to Waikiki and attended a graduation party for Hawaii native Mowatch who is the girlfriend of the Baby Bear (brother of Husbandido). It was nice, but the day before we went to Hanauma Bay but had to hike up the hill in the WIND and the RAIN to get to the entrance. In SLIPPERS! You know, I wasn't trying to be cute or anything, but I brought a pair of slippers I don't normally trek in (I left my reefs at home, and I'm kicking myself) because I thought I was going to be reclining more than hiking up a big ass hill in the wind and rain.
Anyways, most days here have been really rainy, and if not rainy, overcast. It is what it is. We go to the beach, strip down and then sprinkles. Then heat. Then sprinkles. Annoying yes, but hell, you look at the water and you don't feel half bad.
I don't have a tan to boast of, but I do have good memories. I've cooked breakfast every single day that I've been here, which is about 10 days. I guess I took that on as part of the house duties, just as long as I don't have to wash the dishes. I am going to have to up my game for the next trip and make a menu for the trip. We didn't really have one on the trip, and that kind of throws off everything for me. I'm used to knowing what, where, and when. I'd also like to have other people help out. Maybe I'll do it like a retreat and assign meals and couples so that it's easier to do. Anyways, for the first few days we were eating out for lunch and dinner (after I made breakfast), and that's a lot of money, so we've been able to cut down the amount of meals out of the house and limit it to a snack here and there.
New Sportsac bag too. Yummy.
With less than 48 hours to go, I'm glad to be going back. I need to get to my doctor's office right away, but I also want to be back at home and play with the Green Rock. I like being in Hawaii, it's a beautiful place, the people are wonderful, the food is good (esp when I cook it), and the sun is good (when it comes out to play). But at the end of the day, I'm a City girl, and I miss that randomness of the City.
Tonight we're supposed to go to a family party, but I'm thinking I might want to stay back at the house again. This was a good time to relax. Oh! Before I forget, I finished Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I enjoyed it a whole lot. Funny how there were paralells in my life. I'll save it for the book club meeting, but hey, it's all good. :-)
Okay so off to do nothing. Oh the pleasure of it all.
Voodoo
PS: had pineapples. so much better.
I called the doc's office back at home in order to try and persuade them to send me some lovely drugs, but to no avail. After a little back and forth, I got some referrals to some derms, but they're all out of the office. Shit. The one that's available doesn't take my insurance. Strangely enough, I feel more at ease now than I did yesterday/this morning.
I'm doing okay, so thanks for the well wishes, but I was told to go to the ED if I wasn't doing too well. I am not going to do that, knowing that ED's are for folks with more emergencies. Look, this is me trying to stick it out. Nice, huh. I don't know if I mentioned this earlier, but I do notice that people here are nicer about the situation. I've been in situations where I've been singled out and stared at. That, my friends, is when it's painful. Most of the time I can deal, but when it comes down to it, I hate being singled out. It's hard to wear shorts and skirts when I feel like this, and honestly that's all I packed because when I left, I was doing SO well. Now I'm the opposite of that. It's frustrating and I am literally miserable.
Anyways, we did family games tonight, which was fun, and had a good dinner. I'm ready to relax now and do some fun reading, but we'll see. Mythbusters is on, and I love that show.
Okay kids, it's nice to be back, and I will report tomorrow's fist full of meals when I can!
Voodoo
PS: I have pictures posted online, please let me know if you want access.
Okay, so here's what I had for breakfast: my new measuring cup, by the way, is my fist. A fist of eggs scrambled with onions and tomatoes. A cup of pineapple juice (we're in Hawaii, G) and a quarter of a quesadilla. Cheese only. Pretty boring, but that's all I have to cook around here. BTW, cooking for 8 ppl daily for breakfast is pretty fun.
Lunch: Blackbean chili fries (naughty, but vegetarianly nice). And cherry limeade. We went to Kale'iwa Town and unfortch for the team, Guiseppe's Shrimp Shack was closed. Luckily we got there when we got there because Hono's ran out after our order. I don't eat shrimp so I was at the hippy-dippy vegetarian place next door...or shack.
Dinner: Garlic Chicken, fist of rice (although only ate half of rice), and half fist of mac salad. Not as good as Zippy's mac salad, though.
Voodoo
PS: I would really like a fistful of fresh mangoes or pineapple right now.
I'm writing this from a beach house in Oahu, HI. Hard to believe that I've been here since the 27th...and I've still got a few days left to go. I'm not going to complain, honestly, it's been a good time, but if I wasn't feeling like crap (I'll explain in a bit), it'd be much better.
First off, let me apologize for taking some time off from being "here." The truth is, I've been burned out from doing stuff for work, for myself, for the family, and I needed some time to think. I've been really debating on what to do with this website, even. Does it even need to exist anymore? The thought of stopping completely vexes me, but the thought crossed my mind. I thought about changing it to something totally different - moving into a realm of personal business ventures, but like I said, I'm a little too tired to think of what I need to do and where i need to go to get my life up and running online. It was hard enough (it's work, people) to get brl to the behemoth that it is right now.
Secondly, I'm not well because despite being in freakin' paradise, my psoriasis is so bad that I'm having problems walking. I'm near tears for the last few days, and I honestly don't know what to do. I went to the beach today and despite being a little beached whale, I put on a bikini so I can
get optimal sun. I try to not be so self conscious, but it's hard when I'm used to feeling the eyes of the world on me. I hate being in close quarters with people especially when I'm in a bad way. And I AM in a bad way. I am debating on going to the hospital to get something. I don't know what they
could possibly give me that I don't already have, but it's horrible.
Living with a chronic condition is a pain in the ass maybe five days of the entire year. I wonder why now and why here. I'm on vacation for another week, but I feel like shit and I don't know what to do with myself right now. Well, enough of the pity party. I've learned from my disease that I have to just roll with it, and look for the lessons that I need to learn in how to take care of myself. But on a beach, I don't want to learn. Just want to be darker than you.
I am here with El Husbandido (who has a sunburn), and four of his bros and their respective others. We're in a house together, and cooking has been one of my responsibilities, albeit it's one of my weaker points. BTW, did you notice on the top right hand corner of my page that I have updates on what I've been up to? Just wondering.
Let me backtrack a few weeks since my last post. My colleague, who sometimes gets the best of me, is leaving me on the 18th of Jan. I have less than two weeks to pick up where he left off. I also have to get my shit together and hire someone on the quick fast. My class ended, and it was a great learning experience. I will do a better job next semester, and I'm looking forward to it. I'll have a new coteacher which was part of the problem for this semester. I'm done with that chapter. Only onto the new one, right?
Also, I have come to the conclusion that I need to have some serious life changes. No more late nights to bed. No more chocolate feeding frenzies (this as I'm surrounded by chocolate covered macs, my god). More gym. Less sugar. I've come to a realization that part of my problems stem from not being balanced in my life, and this kills me. Literally. Some of you may know that we are trying to have a baby. Well, it turns out that I might not be ovulating because I'm overweight. Gawd. I had a doctor who told me to lose 50 lbs. The fact is yes, that might be better for me to be closer to 120 than the current 172 I am now (god that looks worse when I write it down). Also, I'm keenly aware that my skin might be tied to it as well. So one of my major goals is to drop weight, specificially 25 lbs. I am happy to do this because it's time.
I think in my infinite wisdom, this means the blog will probably be more personal as I try to accomplish these two tasks, but it will also mean that you'll get to go along for the ride as I struggle through what's easy and what's not. I'll put this out there: if anyone manages to give me anything that will stick and help me the most, I'll donate a decent sum to your favorite charity. And NO you are not a charity. A charity case, maybe. Just kidding, love ya!
So happy new year to you, and to me. I look forward to this interesting ride, and if you ever need a walk-around-the-park buddy, let me know!
Hugs from Kailua,
Voodoo