Voodoo Child v. 16: it doesn't have to be eternal to be immortal.

I think that I have to write this blog to put it out there: right now I'm not liking how I feel skinwise.

You all know I have psoriasis. My life has been ebb and flow as far as this disease goes. It's equal parts frustrating as well as sad, and I don't know that I've had a 'good' day with it, even though I will tell you I'm okay. I am just venting, don't worry about checking in on me. You guys are good friends like that and I love you for it.

At any rate, I was actually doing fairly decent when I got back from Hawaii. There was a period in Hawaii when I was horrible. I felt like I was succumbing to this disease and it was eating away at me, literally and figuratively, but then it cleared up like clouds parting on a dreary day. THen all was well. I lived that way for a good two-three weeks, then all of a sudden, it's back with a vengeance. I'm tired of it, truth be told. The yoyo swings back and forth (or is that up and down), and I'm burned out from it. I'm itchy constantly. I have a nagging awareness that it's time for me to put the tank tops away and pull out the long sleeved everything. No more skirts, no more capris. God, at least it's not good ol' warm weather. Then again, the cold does bring it out more than normal. It sucks to be me.

I go to treatments twice a week, and at times I wonder how good it really works, and while it feels good to soak in a tub of nice warm water, it's also taking a chunk of time from my day, and that annoys me. I worry constantly about the damage the treatments do to my skin, but sometimes it feels like it helps, and sometimes it doesn't. Who knows. Call it the heartbreak disease. Fuck that. annoying.

I tried for a long time telling myself that I would not hate the disease, that I'd make it go away in time by making friends with it or maybe even being at peace with it. But I'm through playing nice. I have always been agressive with treatments, but I don't think I'll be talking nice to it anymore. It's time that we part ways, break up, maybe, and go our separate ways.

I am not a fan of negativity, but I need to let go of this pain somehow, and it feels like every day as of late (maybe this last month) I have literally felt so much pain that I'm over it. It's hard to sleep, it's hard to be cold when my skin can't even do the whole goosebump thing (it's wierdly annoying and it hurts too), and to top it off, my nephew (2 years old, can't hate on him) walked up to me, touched my arm and said Ew and ran away with a shitty look on his face. WTF. I was pissed like a bitch. But then again, my godson looks at it, touched my arm and says Owie and actually looked at me like he could feel me. At least I know someone has raised their kid right.  

Anyway, that's just me venting. Chronic disease sucks. I can't even get goosebumps! This sucks cause it's so cold! Crep!

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I promised myself that I would write sometime this weekend. I don't know if I have anything worth sharing but here goes.

This weekend I attended a bridal shower for Posh. It was a nice affair at a cousin's house. We went through the usual routine, way too much food, and games. But for whatever reason the games involved things with male anatomy, which is honestly no big deal, but when my mom is there and it's for her son's fiancee, it's not just awkward, it's kinda wierd. Due to a big misunderstanding, we'll do a shower for family that is, say, more ladylike, for the women in my family. Condoms on bananas with no hands? Come on.

Today I went to a shower for a baby that already arrived a little early! I happen to enjoy going to afternoon tea, so it was nice to share some quality time with the girlfriends, although I didn't know all the girlfriends there. Good news is that someone wants to join the book club. Nice! Someone also recommended penalties for girls who didn't finish the book. I hate punitive things, but it could be funny.

Babychase is still going. Strangely someone at the Tea asked me today about "are people still asking you about having a baby?" I rolled my eyes and said, YES. I told her it's so bad that I sent out Christmas cards with a newsletter with a headline that said "DON'T ASK US IF WE"RE PREGNANT YET." Comedy. But it did stop people from asking us on a regular. It doesn't help that I don't attend family events to get people to stop asking.

Husbandido is out of the house this weekend, to be with his family. I couldn't go because of all the showering that took place. I can't say that I was happy he was out of the house, but I finally got to watch television (he is more of the tv guy than I am) and woohoo a big bed free to a snoring bear! LOL Oh well. For Valentine's I bought him Turok and some DVDs; I anticipated being busy this weekend with showers, so I got him some fun stuff to do.

In the next few weeks, I'll have nailed down a coordinator, and the workload will lighten up. I can't wait for that to happen. Although I will admit, I could probably do the job all by my lonesome. But that won't fly because I need a life.

For Lent, I gave up looking at my work email at home. It's been nice, but I had to sneak a peek last night. Part of my reasoning was to get out of the habit of working 24-7. I like it! It's been good so far though honestly. I'm trying to wean myself off the computer in the evenings, instead reading. No, not the book for the book club, but other pursuits. I'll get there at some point.

I've been thinking about going back to Europe again. I don't know why, but I suppose it'll be one of those things that'll always call me back. I doubt it will happen anytime soon, what with how busy I've been and how expensive it is. But one thing is sure: that I will always have a place to run off to when I get the chance.

Here's something for the trip:

 

SI TU N'ÉTAIS PAS LÀ
Fréhel (France)


Si tu n'étais pas la
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Je ne connaîtrais pas
Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
Quand je suis dans tes bras
Mon coeur joyeux se livre
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Si tu n'étais pas là

J'ai parfois malgré moi
Des craintes folles
Même un soir sans te voir
Je me désole
Tu reviens et soudain
Plus de tristesse
Car tu sais l'effacer
Dune caresse

Si tu n'étais pas la
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Je ne connaîtrais pas
Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
Quand je suis dans tes bras
Mon coeur joyeux se livre
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Si tu n'étais pas là

Les projets que je fais
Presque sans trêve
Les beaux soirs ou l'espoir
Berce mon rêve
Nos tourments bien charmants
Si loin du monde
C'est à toi que je dois
Ces joies profondes

Si tu n'étais pas la
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Je ne connaîtrais pas
Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
Quand je suis dans tes bras
Mon coeur joyeux se livre
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Si tu n'étais pas là.

 

 

Voodoo

 

PS: I wanted to share that I recently went to My Trick Pony to get something for the bridal shower. Mica, the designer hooked me up with a custom tank top and pair of underwear. It was SO flossy that I wanted to pass that along to each of you. If you need something custom made, you can go here and it'll get turned around swiftlike! Check it out: www.mytrickpony.com. Ask for Mica. He's a beaut.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 07:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I had a long talk with someone in my office today, and he said, "why vote, it doesn't matter." After a long discussion with him, I had to hold myself back from throttling said individual. After reflecting on that hour long discussion (that kept me after work, natch), I've come to a conclusion: Kids don't fuckin' vote. Maybe that's a bit harsh. I suppose I could switch it to: Think long term, people. He said to me, "Voting doesn't change anything. Why bother?" Shaking my head, yo. Let's think about this: in a world where many countries don't allow its citizens to have a say, voting is a right and one of the things that make this country a great place. It's easy to see how your one measly vote doesn't change the tide of the ocean, but it's also easy to see how that one measly vote is important in the ebb and flow. For me, a vote is a voice. It's a simple statement of how you feel, but more importantly, it's you saying how you feel about a particular issue or candidate. Take that voice away, and you have no say in anything. Even if you are on the losing side of an issue, you have every right to add your vote to that side, so be it. You have a voice, so use it. Yet many people don't. Frustrating. There are people who are banking on these who choose to not vote to NOT come out. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. — George Jean Nathan (1882-1958). No shit. I worry about my people who dare to not vote, or worse yet, fail to see the relevance, the power, and the strength of their own vote/voice. One of the best feelings I've ever experienced was walking into my voting place (at the dump. woot.) and connecting my two arrows. SO amazing. But that's because I care enough to take that detour to vote. That's because I know my vote is important. I know that my voice needs to be heard. I know that I defy those who hope the empowered electorate don't turn out. I don't care if my candidate doesn't win (keep on keepin' on, Barack). But I will let my voice be heard. And if you don't vote, childrens, you have NO right to complain. You have NO right to bitch. For four long years. Meet me at the polls. Done. I will see you there. Voodoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)