Voodoo Child v. 17: Welcome to the One Woman Show

A few years ago, before I moved out of my house and into another one, I took a last walk through each of the rooms and opened and closed a few closets to make sure I left nothing behind. As I listened to the sounds of my footsteps echo through the now empty home, I stared at the mantle and marveled about how full it used to be of pictures. I think we even had a patis bottle up there.

I looked out the window of the bathroom one last time and amused myself with the number of stunning sunsets I took in from that window. The view overlooked the ocean and wasn't a bad view, even if it was over the shitter.

I walked into my roommates' old rooms and remembered the late nights sitting there bullshitting. The late night snoring. The way I'd have to turn off my roomie's lights after she'd long passed out. Those rooms were empty now. Quiet and sullen. It was as if they were never there.

I look at this blog now and find myself remembering the randomness of my life on these pages. I see how much I've changed with time. I went to Europe, I fell in love, out of love, got my doctorate, in love again, got married, had a baby. I find myself reading over comments and laughing about how silly it used to get, but grateful that even someone stopped by to read my missives, those disjointed views into my life.

My life has now been broadcast on twitter, and while that's not a bad thing..I have a somewhat larger audience, I think, it's not the same. I can bare my soul on twitter, no doubt. But I can invite you in for a cuppa, trade thoughts with you, and perhaps even get you to write your own blog in due time. And it's the camaraderie of the blog that has kept me wanting to come back, and that's why I'm here now.

Truth is, I want to blog badly. I so do. Time, though, has not been on my side. I can't make time for it as much as I used to, but I have to find my way around that. Most of you already know about me on twitter. Great. But it's not enough.

I fell out of love with the movable type platform. I would have loved to stay with Blogger, but that kept dying on me. Tumblr is where I am now, and I can do some of the stuff I've been wanting to do for a long time (and easier too): pics, audio files, and who knows, maybe i'll call in a post. Ha.

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to write over the last 10 years. Thank you for your words, your messages, and most of all, your patience. This blog has been for me my breath of fresh air and my most life-affirming activity (next to being a mom!).

So you coming over to my new place or what? I'll gladly pour you a cup.

http://charlobo.beatsrhymesnlife.com

Voodoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm up late again...seems that's my life story. Luckily I don't want TV. At all, well, expect for Lost. And soon that will eventually run into reruns. So I wind up aimlessly surfing the web. I keep telling myself to be productive, but I have work to be productive for, right? Why bother.

I need to vent, I guess. See, I have this raging psoriasis that is eating me to pieces. There are days when I struggle to walk around because my skin, well, isn't as flexible as a normal person's...I don't have the luxury of a bending knee without splitting skin open. It's hard to take for granted how easy it is to move about when every move feels like you're getting ripped apart.

I drive a lot, normally, that's what a city girl does. But I started wondering why I kept leaving the seat warmers on. Silly me, they're not on, that's just my skin saying, hella warm, dude. Hella warm. I feel like, I guess to explain what this feeling is like, that I have a sunburn on my entire body. Yah that's a good way to describe it. It hurts, it's sore, it's annoying, and gee it's a fuckin' pain in the ass. There I said it.

I used to go through life saying positive things about my psoriasis, but I think I'm over it right now. I read somewhere that it was important for a patient to think like that. Well, hello psoriasis, you're a pain in the ass. What bugs me even more is that it's on my face. I haven't had it on my face since i was 19. It's one thing to have a disease you can cover up. I can't very well put a bag over my head.

You'd never know how much it bugged me, did you. Well yah. I hate being itchy all damn day. I mean really. All I want to do is scratch. By the way, don't tell me what works or doesn't work. It's probably not going to work. Yes I'm a realistic cynic. it's hard to be anything but with this so-called "heartbreak disease." Someone once had the nerve to say that to me. I glared at her and just walked away. Gee thanks.

Is it stress? Maybe. Is it the weather changing? Probably. Is it lack of sleep? Maybe. Is it life? Yes.

I feel bad when my mom just doesn't know what to do. She offers up suggestions and in general looks at me sad sometimes. My dad too. This deal is hereditary, and I can't help but wonder if they feel bad about me being this way. I hope they don't. This is the genetic lottery at work.

I could go back on the drugs, but that's a demand I don't want to put on myself right now. And it would be so easy to all of a sudden be clear. What a joy that would be like, but I know the risks. I can't breast feed. I can't get pregnant (not that I'm trying, but I'm trying to make a point here, calm down). I can't do a lot of things with that med. but it would make me so much better in less than three weeks. No lie. Tank tops and skirts better. Instead of jackets and jeans. All the time. Funny thing, even when I'm clear? I go out in jackets and jeans. Hard habit to break.

In a meanwhile, let me wrap this up by exhaling. It helped to write this. And maybe that's what I needed to heal.

Voodoo

PS: did you know I go through a costco sized bottle of lotion every two weeks? strange but true. I am the anti-ashy.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I took me going to church on Ash Wednesday (what, there's one RIGHT behind my office. Hard to ignore) to tell God that I'd commit to writing again. I went with my two co-workers, one of whom asked me what I was going to give up. Just like New Year's I always try to change it up. I don't believe in giving up things like negative habits. I believe in doing new things to improve on how things are being done. Yah it looks the same, but it's not. For Lent I gave up giving up.

I admit that I thought I'd be writing more when I went to work. But in reality, I'm not free like I thought I was going to be. I'm busier than ever, challenged to perform, to create anew, to shake off all that negativity that existed in my office before I even arrived. So it's been busy. I simultaneously love my job. I simultaneously despise it. But I have a job, so I'll just shut up.

I'm in Sacramento tonight, it's late, but I'm writing because I need to. I feel like this has been weighing me down for awhile, but it's a huge relief to write. I can't believe I waited this long.

So here's what's happened in the last few weeks. Or has it been months? Bambina's baptism went so well. It was work, but it went down and she's blessed and so are we. She bawled like hell when it was her turn, but that's life. I nearly bawled too, but that was because I got chewed out for not feeding her when I should have, but whatever. I put the whole thing together in less than a month. I have to give thanks to her godmothers for stepping up and helping out. Other folks could have helped but didn't. Annoyed.

I've been going back to light treatments. It's working, yet not. That's life too. Fracking lame skin condition. Ever get burned to the point where you're literally shaking, and it's not because you're in pain but you are? Yah. That's not fun. But since then things have calmed down considerably. Maybe I'll wear short sleeves one day. Under a sweater more likely.

Bambina was sick a few days. It's so freakin' sad to see a little one with sniffles. she doesn't even know what to do with herself. We had to go to her pedi to make sure she was okay. I took my mom with me so she could get out of the house. Ever since they've been taking care of her, they're just anal about going out. If it were up to me, we'd be out all the damn time. Poor baby, get the blinkies whenever we see the sun. Too bright! Too bright! Oops. She's better now, but a humidifier is a good thing. Really good.

Husbandido hooked me up with a Kindle for V-day. How awesome is that. For five months, whenever it was baby time, I'd have to literally drop everything. I'd try to compute, but with one arm it's pretty useless. So with my Kindle, affectionately named Kimbo Slice, I can tear through libros no problem. How cool is that. And I thought I wouldn't buy books at all. oopsies. There's three new ones in Kimbo. Oh and new vidcam. Found the other one to be big and unwieldy, and the new toy is a JOY to have. I capcha'd some crazy MIL action. GEEBUS!

I have a huge presentation to do on the 11th for work. I've been trying desperately to do my research and juggle my other work, but it's pretty impossible. I can only do reading when there's nothing on my plate (rarely) or when I'm pumping. Speaking of which I need to pump earlier and more often. This pumping at 4PM is lame. I'd love for Bambs to be fully mommy-fed, but yah, she's formula and that poop KILLS me.

Finally, got some news from a friend a few days ago that took a lot of wind out of my sails. Those of you who know, and I won't go any further, know what I'm talking about. It's been unreal, and it's been on my mind since I read the email. Prayers, light, and love. It's all I have, and it's everything I want to give.

I hate to post then leave not knowing when I'll be back, but I will. This has been hugely therapeutic, but if you want to get down and therapeutic, let me know. Really.

Voodoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I returned to work two weeks ago, and it's been fun, it's been different. I find myself busier than my other job, but more focused on stuff that I can handle rather than chasing down things that are out of my grasp. The short answer is that it's hard to be without Bambina, but the truth is, I need to work, to feel productive. Not that being a mom isn't productive enough, but I craved doing something and finishing it. With Bambina it's constantly doing doing doing...my triumphs were getting her to sleep and not cry. But that was it. I didn't have time to do what i needed to do (buy diapers, do laundry, etc). I still don't have the time, but hell, I'm glad to be at work, but I miss her terribly.

A while ago, I told you about a friend who had a baby that was ill; he had little chance to survive. I ran into her the other day, and I didn't know the outcome of her pregnancy. In fact, we saw each other at the hospital. I gave birth, and she was rushing into the hospital to, presumably, give birth. I greeted her as always in her office, on the way to see someone else. She looked surprised to see me, and I, her. She asked about Bambina, and I asked her about her baby. She started tearing up immediately, and it came racing back to me that her baby was ill; he had a chromosomal defect. He was stillborn. We stared at each other for a moment. I feel like I was kicked in the stomach. I felt horrible. Words cannot describe. She asked me about Bambina, I beamed. I asked her about her son, and....shit.

The moment sticks with me til this day. She wrote me an email, kindly asking forgiveness for being so awkward. WTF. You have a year's pass. It was me that should have apologized. We were pregnant around the same time. We were due at the same time. Same hospital. Same everything. Shit. I went shopping for myself a few weeks prior and picked out a stunning red stone pendant on a cord. A nursing necklace. The stone had "courageous" properties. I wore it once, and I LOVED it. I bought another green one as well to symbolize persistence and decisiveness (like I have problems with that, sheesh). I can't get over wearing it. I love it so much. But I carefully wrapped up the red one and wrote her a card back and wished her courage to get through it. She was wearing it today. It made me so happy to see her smile as she fondled the stone. I wish her courage.

I got up this morning to listen to my new president take the oath. I lied, actually, I was at home, then headed out to work to make it in time to hear his oath and address. The entire network was clogged, but I listened to NPR to get me through. I knew my membership would pay off. I'm hopeful, elated, and bolstered by his presidency, and I'm so glad to bring my daughter up in a day and age that has seen change and hope sweep this country.

Well...that's enough for now. Husbandido is off bowling with his bros, and I'm here by my lonesome being a mommy. It's okay. There's no place I'd rather be. Okay, maybe Maui or Paris, but you know me by now.

Kisses,
Voodoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's 25 minutes until the new year. My daughter is asleep. My husband is chatting with his family on gtalk. I'm in the kitchen supervising the new toaster oven and dining on some fine fine S'Mores by Ben & Jerry's. I know, I swore it off, but shit, it's so damn good, and it's New Years, right?

I guess this would be a good time to look back on the year, discuss what went right, what went wrong. That's life. But I'm looking forward to the new year. I'm not one to be overly optimistic, but I'm thinking that 2009 will be an incredible year, and I'm going to take you guys me.

I have been bustin' my brain to think of what this year's resolution is going to be, but I'll be sufficiently vague: this is the year of exponential growth. I plan on making huge strides in my new position. (Side story: 9 years ago when I applied for the job at University, this was the position I originally wanted, but I was given the "don't apply for that, apply for this" speech, and I wound up sticking around for 8 years. Now I finally get my dream job). I plan on making an unprecidented impact. Huge words, I know, but that's the plan, and I will do it.

Since we started our little family, I think we're set...for now. When Bambina turns 1, we'll discuss her sibling, but not before then. Who knows where this will go. I'm excited about the leaps and bounds she will make, and I'm even more excited for the ones we'll take as parents.

I am looking forward to being a more active blogger...once I get back to work, heh, I'll be able to sit down and crank out some stuff for you more often. I'm working on a Conversations with God piece that should drop in the next month.

I'm always open to the newness that a new year brings, and I'm looking forward to the exciting changes that my life has in store for me. As I write this, this is my 8th year blogging. It's been good and it's been fun, and it's always been wonderful to have good readers, all 1 of you, here to cheer me on.

Well, here comes the new year. Blessings to you and yours, and may your year be amazing.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Good evening all. It's late, but I'm here in Sacramento. Everyone is playing a game, and I'm sitting on the couch playing around with my computer. It's not that I don't want to play, but the baby is asleep, and I'm on the monitor listening with half an ear to see if she'll sleep through while I'm out in the living room.

Christmas was nice. I really mean nice. It's been good to be with my family and Husbandido's family. I really wish that there was enough energy in me to spread between the two, but after a late night session with my family, it's hard to stay up with Husbandido's family. I'm trying hard, and I don't want to be a poopface about it.

We made the big drive up to Sacramento with Bambina. Originally, we were really scared to do that, well I was, because she didn't like her carseat like I mentioned before. We wound up taking a drive to Redwood City last Saturday, and she did really well during the drive. We took that as a benchmark to see if she could handle a long drive. About 45 minutes into the drive, around Fairfield, she started to fuss. We pulled over and I nursed her. Another 10 minutes into the drive, in Vacaville, we pull over to nurse again. After that, she drowses away. I learn too, that I get car sick in the back seat, but I pass out around Dixon, and I'm good to go after that.

Here, we are with all of Husbandido's brothers, his parents, and his brother's significant others. It's a close group, and I love being here, but they have such energy that I don't feel like I have. Also, it's hard to eat food here when my dietary needs are a little different than everyone else here. I usually find myself eating pretty poorly, but I do eat.

My mother in law loves Bambina, and insists on holding her constantly, refusing to give her to anyone else because the baby won't like it. I can see what she's saying, but everyone deserves to have some quality time with the baby, and even everyone here calls her a babyhog. I have to agree. But what are you going to expect from the first grandbaby's proud grandmother?

By the way, Bambina is sick. She has a little cold, and it's pretty sad to hear her sniffle so much. It's cute though, but I hope she inherits my ability to bust out of a cold in two-three days. Unlike my Husbandido who gets manflu and goes down for at least a week. 

I'll be here until Sunday. I'll be able to check in from here a few times. I'm looking forward to the return to blogging. Hopefully she'll sleep earlier and sounder, and I can update you more.

 Merry Christmas. Hope you had a good holiday.

Voodoo 

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Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Things have to go

Into their proper places

Moving from one box to another

From one bin to the final bin

It's hard to say goodbye to objects I've gathered

And picked up along the way

I've found myself saying goodbye

In little ways to things from the past

To things from the present

Things I've held onto for too long

For no particular reason

Covered in dust

And moth carcasses

It's time to make room for new things

New people...new life, I guess

So goodbye old stuff

It's been nice knowing you.

VDC

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

As my summer starts to fade into fall, I realize more and more each day that it's time for me to switch gears and start letting go of things. Not just work, as many of you know that I'm ready to peace the hell out of my job in less than 3 weeks. But there are some things eating at my brain that have been affecting me in deeper ways that I cared to realize.

I recently started feeling certain things that I haven't felt for three years, more specifically, since I got married: you know who your friends are, and you know who really gives a shit about you when things start to hit the fan. And BTW, someone said, "It's just hormones, don't take this stuff too seriously." Get the hell out of here. Hormones are one thing. Bitchassness is another.

I think it's been interesting to watch the ebb and flow of people both at work and in my personal life, so see what comes in and more specifically when it does.

I guess there's a question too I've been asking myself, and that is, how the hell do I contribute to the funk that I've been experiencing with people? It makes me want to lock myself away from certain individuals, yet I'm drawn to others in ways that make me want to keep it all separated. I wish I could go into more detail, but I'll keep those to myself. 

Maybe it's just me, but it's harder to repair damage than to keep putting it on thick. I'd rather hear the truth than be led on to believe other things, and what sucks is that I ALREADY KNOW THE TRUTH and I'm just watching certain people lay it on. God I feel bad.

****

So on a happier note, I was reading Wolf's post the other day, and I was feeling where he was coming from. I know I can relate to watching babies in another way, watching how parents interact, what stroller they bought. It's interesting, but I also do that to the new 1st years at my job: how the parents interact, what the first years do, how we all interact with them. But when it comes to being a new mother, it comes down to feelings of "okaaaay. that's going to be me soon enough."

Parents now tell me to enjoy this time because there's no time like the present. Soon enough there are changes ahead that are going to impact not only me, but others around me. The soccer player in my tummy makes me laugh, but has deprived me of the best of the best EVAR: thin mint ice cream. Rude. JK. I'm excited about it, but as always I have a very guarded excitedness about all of my projects, so this isn't any different. Maybe it's my guardedness that is offputting? I don't know. Bitchassness.

Let me tell you guys a story. I probably have mentioned this before in this blog (Side Note: did you know I've been blogging for at least 8 years now?). Anyways, it's really personal, but I'll tell you anyways. I never saw myself with kids. No lie. I was one of those women who could see themselves single forever, doing lunch, hanging out with other old biddies, shopping and having tea. No kids. Travelling. Seriously. I wanted nothing but handling my business, come what may. This is how I went through life, even with boyfriends through high school and college and even through grad school, this was how I was vibing my life. I'd be with some guy, he'd be talking marriage, I'd be nodding, thinking to myself, I wonder how he's going to take me heading off to Paris for months at a go. Hope he doesn't mind being second place. What a Leo.

All of this changed during one day when I was working on some homework at my apartment. I was 32, bent on single up until this point. I had a boyfriend at the time, a long distance deal that didn't keep me tied down. I was home alone, the day was nice, and on a Saturday working on my papers it hit me.

What is all of this for if I can't pass this down to someone else?

It was a simple, innocuous question. I thought about it for a few minutes, and the next thing you know, I'm bawling my eyes out because I couldn't find the answer anywhere save for one place: kids. It was literally like a light in a dark room: life now had more meaning, and it all made sense. Who literally gives a ickypoo about a dissertation and an education, goals and material things if it's not meant to be passed down to someone. I could easily give all my riches to my parrot, the Green Rock, but you know.

It turned out that bf at the time had a feeling that something changed, and I really couldn't tell a brother because how the hell do you tell someone that you felt The Call without making homeboy feel like you are talking about his donation in the matter? I wasn't about to tell him; it was too important to me to just share with anyone. I don't think I really told anyone about that revelation for a very long time. I just told him that I realized something. He thought I was cheating on him I was so giddy, and you know, now that I think about it, we broke up not too far afterwards, and well, that's life for you. Maybe he couldn't handle it. Oh well on that.

So since that day, this is the seed that's been growing: to be able to share this with someone(s) else. And 32 weeks into this journey (after 70 something weeks of trying and oh lord I mean trying) it's all coming together for me. And despite the earlier funktitude of people trying to step on my game, I won't let it break me down. I've waited too long for trifling people to get in my way.

Ready or not, here she comes.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 06:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Friday. What a good day. Just overall. There was a sense of finality to this week that was most welcome, and I'm glad that I have some downtime to just do whatever I need to do. Which really isn't much.

I'm not going to lie; it's been stressful in little ways: the pregnancy, mom and dad coming and going and coming back again, work, change, the impending arrival of the Bambina. It came down to waking up one night at 4AM and lying there with feelings of dread as I ticked off things I needed to do at work. I lay awake for at least another hour forcing myself to acknowledge that this was probably not a normal thing to do. At 4AM.

Early on in the pregnancy, both myself and Husbandido had to meet with a therapist. It was nerve wracking to me (there was a 3AM staredown with the ceiling for a few nights) because I didn't know why I was scheduled for an appointment. Turns out this is a normal "thing." Just a check in with all expectant mothers. Routine. Holy shit, I thought I had to prepare for some bad news or what have you. But no. Just checking in.

After my gestational diabetes check in meeting a few weeks ago, I ran into the therapist again. She recognized me, and knowing how stressed I was, I went ahead and scheduled some time with her.

Now I know this is highly personal. Telling someone you're seeing a therapist is akin to telling people that a) you got some stuff going on you can't handle (don't bite my head off for this yet, wait for it), b) you are going through SOME STUFF you shouldn't be handling, or c) you're just a wreck in general. I know this. Least you forget, I have a master's in counseling. I know the risks that I'm taking by putting this out there for you to read, but I'm also taking the chance to tell you that I'm doing this to take care of myself, Bambina, my Husbandido and whoever else I may have an impact on. I'm also going on record with sharing this because, honestly, I wanted to encourage anyone else who may debate on doing a similar thing - seeing a therapist - to go ahead and do it. Do I have stuff going on? Of course I do. Do I need help? Who the hell doesn't? Can I handle it? I'm handling it. Now.

The good news is that I found someone who I really liked, and I like to think we have a good thing going. I've seen her twice now, and while it's not rocket science, it's easy to see that it's been helpful to spend an hour of someone's time venting/chatting/laughing through it all. Also, no lie, it's nice to see someone who has very similar and more advanced training than I do, do her job. I'm a nut like that.

***

Anyways, pregnancy continues to move steadily ahead. Bambina is moving and grooving on a schedule now. That's kinda crazy, but I know when she's going to be moving around and fidgeting around. 31 weeks in, there are 67 days left to go. It's exciting, and I'm looking forward to the changes ahead, but I'm also keenly aware of how much things will have to change.

We've been toying around with the idea of moving out, but that's a long way off for us. The need for space has been a part of our daily life lately, especially with having to share, but what can we do? There's a part of me that says, "Why the hell did you go to graduate school on loans for?" I laugh at this, but that's a huge financial burden. Without it and my credit card bills (hey, I needed to go to europe, ok?), I could take care of a mortgage all by myself. Funny, isn't it? But yah, that's life.

Asides: Fast and Furious is a wierd movie. Husbandido actually said this: " I am never going to watch this movie...again. Six times is enough." Yet he still is watching it. Comedy.

Well, I'm going to go back to reading The Count of Monte Cristo. The unabridged version, bitches. Take that. Yes, I'm halfway through. LOL

Off to count kicks. 

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 07:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Where were you when you heard this song first?

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I think that I have to write this blog to put it out there: right now I'm not liking how I feel skinwise.

You all know I have psoriasis. My life has been ebb and flow as far as this disease goes. It's equal parts frustrating as well as sad, and I don't know that I've had a 'good' day with it, even though I will tell you I'm okay. I am just venting, don't worry about checking in on me. You guys are good friends like that and I love you for it.

At any rate, I was actually doing fairly decent when I got back from Hawaii. There was a period in Hawaii when I was horrible. I felt like I was succumbing to this disease and it was eating away at me, literally and figuratively, but then it cleared up like clouds parting on a dreary day. THen all was well. I lived that way for a good two-three weeks, then all of a sudden, it's back with a vengeance. I'm tired of it, truth be told. The yoyo swings back and forth (or is that up and down), and I'm burned out from it. I'm itchy constantly. I have a nagging awareness that it's time for me to put the tank tops away and pull out the long sleeved everything. No more skirts, no more capris. God, at least it's not good ol' warm weather. Then again, the cold does bring it out more than normal. It sucks to be me.

I go to treatments twice a week, and at times I wonder how good it really works, and while it feels good to soak in a tub of nice warm water, it's also taking a chunk of time from my day, and that annoys me. I worry constantly about the damage the treatments do to my skin, but sometimes it feels like it helps, and sometimes it doesn't. Who knows. Call it the heartbreak disease. Fuck that. annoying.

I tried for a long time telling myself that I would not hate the disease, that I'd make it go away in time by making friends with it or maybe even being at peace with it. But I'm through playing nice. I have always been agressive with treatments, but I don't think I'll be talking nice to it anymore. It's time that we part ways, break up, maybe, and go our separate ways.

I am not a fan of negativity, but I need to let go of this pain somehow, and it feels like every day as of late (maybe this last month) I have literally felt so much pain that I'm over it. It's hard to sleep, it's hard to be cold when my skin can't even do the whole goosebump thing (it's wierdly annoying and it hurts too), and to top it off, my nephew (2 years old, can't hate on him) walked up to me, touched my arm and said Ew and ran away with a shitty look on his face. WTF. I was pissed like a bitch. But then again, my godson looks at it, touched my arm and says Owie and actually looked at me like he could feel me. At least I know someone has raised their kid right.  

Anyway, that's just me venting. Chronic disease sucks. I can't even get goosebumps! This sucks cause it's so cold! Crep!

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I promised myself that I would write sometime this weekend. I don't know if I have anything worth sharing but here goes.

This weekend I attended a bridal shower for Posh. It was a nice affair at a cousin's house. We went through the usual routine, way too much food, and games. But for whatever reason the games involved things with male anatomy, which is honestly no big deal, but when my mom is there and it's for her son's fiancee, it's not just awkward, it's kinda wierd. Due to a big misunderstanding, we'll do a shower for family that is, say, more ladylike, for the women in my family. Condoms on bananas with no hands? Come on.

Today I went to a shower for a baby that already arrived a little early! I happen to enjoy going to afternoon tea, so it was nice to share some quality time with the girlfriends, although I didn't know all the girlfriends there. Good news is that someone wants to join the book club. Nice! Someone also recommended penalties for girls who didn't finish the book. I hate punitive things, but it could be funny.

Babychase is still going. Strangely someone at the Tea asked me today about "are people still asking you about having a baby?" I rolled my eyes and said, YES. I told her it's so bad that I sent out Christmas cards with a newsletter with a headline that said "DON'T ASK US IF WE"RE PREGNANT YET." Comedy. But it did stop people from asking us on a regular. It doesn't help that I don't attend family events to get people to stop asking.

Husbandido is out of the house this weekend, to be with his family. I couldn't go because of all the showering that took place. I can't say that I was happy he was out of the house, but I finally got to watch television (he is more of the tv guy than I am) and woohoo a big bed free to a snoring bear! LOL Oh well. For Valentine's I bought him Turok and some DVDs; I anticipated being busy this weekend with showers, so I got him some fun stuff to do.

In the next few weeks, I'll have nailed down a coordinator, and the workload will lighten up. I can't wait for that to happen. Although I will admit, I could probably do the job all by my lonesome. But that won't fly because I need a life.

For Lent, I gave up looking at my work email at home. It's been nice, but I had to sneak a peek last night. Part of my reasoning was to get out of the habit of working 24-7. I like it! It's been good so far though honestly. I'm trying to wean myself off the computer in the evenings, instead reading. No, not the book for the book club, but other pursuits. I'll get there at some point.

I've been thinking about going back to Europe again. I don't know why, but I suppose it'll be one of those things that'll always call me back. I doubt it will happen anytime soon, what with how busy I've been and how expensive it is. But one thing is sure: that I will always have a place to run off to when I get the chance.

Here's something for the trip:

SI TU N'ÉTAIS PAS LÀ
Fréhel (France)


Si tu n'étais pas la
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Je ne connaîtrais pas
Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
Quand je suis dans tes bras
Mon coeur joyeux se livre
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Si tu n'étais pas là

J'ai parfois malgré moi
Des craintes folles
Même un soir sans te voir
Je me désole
Tu reviens et soudain
Plus de tristesse
Car tu sais l'effacer
Dune caresse

Si tu n'étais pas la
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Je ne connaîtrais pas
Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
Quand je suis dans tes bras
Mon coeur joyeux se livre
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Si tu n'étais pas là

Les projets que je fais
Presque sans trêve
Les beaux soirs ou l'espoir
Berce mon rêve
Nos tourments bien charmants
Si loin du monde
C'est à toi que je dois
Ces joies profondes

Si tu n'étais pas la
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Je ne connaîtrais pas
Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
Quand je suis dans tes bras
Mon coeur joyeux se livre
Comment pourrais-je vivre
Si tu n'étais pas là.

Voodoo

PS: I wanted to share that I recently went to My Trick Pony to get something for the bridal shower. Mica, the designer hooked me up with a custom tank top and pair of underwear. It was SO flossy that I wanted to pass that along to each of you. If you need something custom made, you can go here and it'll get turned around swiftlike! Check it out: www.mytrickpony.com. Ask for Mica. He's a beaut.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 07:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's Saturday, a plain day, honestly. I've needed to get some time to myself just to think or to get my head on right. But first some updates. When I got back on Monday night, I made sure to get up early so I can head to see the derm staff on Tuesday AM. Seeing them, they were all very concerned. Problem with me is that I don't like being fussed over. It's weird for me, but that's just how I roll. Maybe that's why I waited a few days before even calling them. At any rate, the nurses all came by to see how I was doing, and they were awfully concerned. I went through a therapy later that day, even though I wasn't scheduled to, and I'm really happy to say that I'm doing very well these days. I'm not red and angry (if you have a skin disorder you know what I mean by angry), and I'm pink and squishy now. Mucho mahalo for the emails. They really helped me not go mental.

I rarely am on the verge of tears, but this experience really pushed me in that direction. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but strangely enough, after I made the call, I started to feel much better. I wonder if part of my lesson in this, because I really believe that there's a lesson everywhere, dammit, was that it's okay for me to ask for help. I have a real doctor's appointment on Monday, and I'll follow up with you guys then.

This morning we went to Princess's baptism. It was a nice affair, and it was strange to be maybe the only people of color there. It was cute, though. I love Princess; she seems to have a neat energy coming from her. We spent the reception hanging out with Princess' grandparents. We had a great conversation with seemingly different perspectives (they were East Coasters with conversativo backgrounds and were probably uber rich), but it was cool. One of them was an EE professor, and you know husbandido got into that.

Afterwards, we headed off to Stonestown to get my swatch watch replaced. Damn thing broke on the first day at Hawaii. I was a little frustrated because they didn't have a good replacement, so I had to suck it up and get another watch, but oh well. That's done. Hungry, we headed off to Fuddrucker's. I don't know why we picked that place, but I really like their turkey burgers!

Afterwards at the house, we pretty much passed out. Champagne from this morning and turkey burgers make for good napping material. Now I'm stuck watching football (yippee) and waiting for dinner. I know this is a boring update, but I'm happy with how I spent today. I like to relax as much as possible because it really gives me an opportunity to stop and think about where I am and what I need to get doing. But it also gives me a chance to breathe. It helped that today was a beautiful day.

Anyways, I'll be writing soon. There are some interesting things coming up: the beginning of school, the departure of my program coordinator, and the hiring process for that program coordinator. Tomorrow, we're going to head to SJ to pick up my Wii (damn you for forgetting to bring it back, kids!) and to catch Etcha at his show opening.

Hope you're doing well...I am. Thankfully.

Voodoo

PS: Been keeping a food/spending diary. God.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 07:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ahh. So the doctor's office pulled through and got me some good strong meds. I have what they call high potency steroids now, and I'm feeling much much better, thanks. I am here at the house with one of the other folks I came out here with. A couple went home today, so there are six of us in the house. We are just hanging out. I'm honestly tired of running around, and it's exactly part of the trip I didn't want to deal with. But that's life, and might as well get out and about, right? At any rate, I'm glad to be here at the house with only one other person, blogging for you!

Yesterday, we went to Waikiki and attended a graduation party for Hawaii native Mowatch who is the girlfriend of the Baby Bear (brother of Husbandido). It was nice, but the day before we went to Hanauma Bay but had to hike up the hill in the WIND and the RAIN to get to the entrance. In SLIPPERS! You know, I wasn't trying to be cute or anything, but I brought a pair of slippers I don't normally trek in (I left my reefs at home, and I'm kicking myself) because I thought I was going to be reclining more than hiking up a big ass hill in the wind and rain.

Continue reading "More More steroids, please!" »

Posted by Voodoo Child at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I'm writing this from a beach house in Oahu, HI. Hard to believe that I've been here since the 27th...and I've still got a few days left to go. I'm not going to complain, honestly, it's been a good time, but if I wasn't feeling like crap (I'll explain in a bit), it'd be much better.

First off, let me apologize for taking some time off from being "here." The truth is, I've been burned out from doing stuff for work, for myself, for the family, and I needed some time to think. I've been really debating on what to do with this website, even. Does it even need to exist anymore? The thought of stopping completely vexes me, but the thought crossed my mind. I thought about changing it to something totally different - moving into a realm of personal business ventures, but like I said, I'm a little too tired to think of what I need to do and where i need to go to get my life up and running online. It was hard enough (it's work, people) to get brl to the behemoth that it is right now.

Continue reading "Kailua Road" »

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Good morning all. I would, by pure function, be a morning person because I'm just so much more productive here in the AM than in the evening, but really, I'm exhaustedly tired. Not to mention it's cold as BALLS in my office.

Oh yah, and it's Saturday. Don't ask. I'm here because I don't have to be, and because it's a nice thing to do for some students. I have a plan of attack for my work, like write a final exam, but it'll be some time before I get my eyes to focus for a minute to get that done.

A few days ago, I had an incident where a student plagiarized her work, and it was really troubling to me. She's a senior, ready to graduate, and an international student to boot. It's easily an offense that could give the student an F in the assignment, an F in the course or some other sanction. I chose the 'other' option, and it's a nice one, really, but she's taking it really hard. Crying, coming to my office to talk to me, my intern about it. I feel bad, really, that she's so ashamed and having a hard time dealing with this. But I don't feel bad about my choice to have her go through the sanctions I chose; I feel they are more than fair.

My intern said, perhaps it's too harsh. I asked her to think of another student who is performing less to his ability and it honestly quite a handful. Would you say it's too harsh for him? She said no. I said to her, then that's an appropriate judgment. I'd treat any student, even if I knew them well, the very same way. She didn't pause. You're absolutely right, she said. It's fair.

I should hope so.

I love being a teacher, but nothing pushed me as far away from the love of the job like this semester. Part of it is having two co-teachers (argh), but all in all it's been a learning experience for me. I am going to be very glad when this semester is done, honestly.

***

Husbandido and I went out to dinner last night with FULL intentions of taking advantage of the Banana Republic friends and family sale (Mommy wants cashmere). We got hungry though...Husbandido got stuck in Friday traffic at the bridge that took him 1.5 hours to get through. Poor thing, he hates traffic, but gets stuck in it so often it's a sign from god to get over it. I wound up staying late at work to talk to the students as always. 

Husbandido loves tapas because he's not one of those big plates kinda guys. He likes to sample everything. Seriously. A little this and that. We had to hash out where to go, and we decided on E&O because it's close to BR, but there was a wait. The food is good, but not ALL that to me, but it's easy. Whatever. We wound up walking over to the French District, as I like to call it, and had dinner at Cafe de la Presse. Say what you will about the French. I swear I'm a French person underneath this saggy clothing, but I loved my dinner, and the experience was wonderful with the exception of the surly host. Yes it was super expensive, but it made my night. That and the two Swatch watches I picked up afterwards too. that was a nice gift to myself. I love Swatches so much. What a nerd.

Anyway, I should write this final exam. I hope you're all doing so well, warm and snuggly in your beds. I hate all of you.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Greenpeace has a whale naming competition. Really.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Posted by Voodoo Child at 06:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Continue reading "Checking Out" »

Posted by Voodoo Child at 05:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Some riders funky

And others wonderful

The air is thick

Stares laden

With musky secrets, words

Untold, this trip seems like

It will never end

The crush of bodies sways in the throes

Of the clickety-clack

And if you don't assume the stance,

You're sure to come  undone 

Excuse me

But I think

This is the point

Where I get off this train

And walk away from this station

Voodoo 

PS: Luciano, I know you best for your lustful libiamo ne'lieti calici...it made me fall in love with Opera and with you. You will be missed.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So first week of school is done. It's been incredibly busy, tiring, and mentally I'm exhausted. Nothing out of the ordinary, really, but it's been a real test on my system. I hate being exhausted, and I'm not that girl who goes to bed at 9:45PM, but I've been doing that lately, and it's helped immensely.

At any rate, welcome back to school, right?

So the plan, my friends, is to not cut my hair too much. I'll trim it, but it looks like the length is going to stay. I struggled with the decision, but I'm keeping it as is. I know. A life-shattering decision, right?

I've got a lot on my mind, things I've ranted about, or things that have recently popped up. I will probably get  my head on and let you in on some things ina few days, but I wanted to check in.

ciao for now.

vdc 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

 In honor of the day I rest, I bring you this. The look is classic, and the shirt is far more classic than I can even say.

Enjoy,

voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was reading Harsh Cry of the Heron the other day when the Harry Potter book came my way via my Aunt. I decided to put Heron away in favor of the HP one. The night was young so I took the liberty of tearing into the book. 100 pages later, I fell asleep.

The days have been filled with much of the same: pleasant and not-so-pleasant distractions. I have problems trying to remember what's coming next, and my work inflicted ADD makes things more interesting as I try to figure out what to do next. I'm not really supposed to be blogging right now. I'm sure there's a project that needs to get done. I'm sure of it.

Staring out the window of my office now, I hear the rumble of jack hammers, and by now you'd think I'd be over it, but it's like going to the dentist every day. Even the back of my mouth fills with spit just thinking of it. I'm trying to come to a sense of where I am, and it feels like there's no purpose, no rhyme, no reason. I hate days like this. If only there was a direction to the madness, and if only there was a plan that I could work off of. I take a deep breath and think that there's something wrong with iTunes, and I switch on the shuffle mode. There, that's better.

The good news is that the kids are coming back soon, and that makes the world a little different, that is, it's going to be different around the office. The bad news is that it's work. Just kidding. i love me some work. Just means I have to switch gears. I am enjoying the time I have now; I have tons of creative time. But that might have to go on the back burner later when they get back.

***

Keep in your prayers my Father in Law who is in the hospital.

Thanks,

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I spoke with my boss about my interview, and that was refreshingly sane. I half thought about what would have been the right way to leave, and I think I'd rather be honest than front about leaving and bounce with a two week's notice. To be fair to my colleagues, and they really are friends as well, I need to give good notice and make sure that everything I'm doing supports everyone, including the people I'm leaving behind.

I have some mixed feelings about leaving: new places, new faces, promises made to students to be there for them, etc. It's going to be a tough transition either way, but like I said, this was a good experience for me. I love where I work, but there are times to move and learn new things, and this is one of those times for me.

I won't get into detail, but like most interviews for staff at the higher education arena usually looks like this: meet with students, support staff, laterals, and supervisors. Oh and throw in a lunch too. These meetings are an hour each, and you're going to be seen by 3-6 people each time. So now you know why I was so tired. I came home, passed out, and woke up at 10PM. Didn't sleep until 2.

And again, you want to know how I did? Here's a video for you. Turn up yo speakers, and bounce with me.

Love from,

Voodoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today I had the fortune of having some company at the house, complete with a half bottle of cabernet sauvignon from Beaulieu Vineyards. I don't mind sharing a bottle with company, especially with my brother.

I've been watching Tour de France...my favorite July activity next to my birthday. I've looked forward to this every year, but it's always hard to follow when I'm not consistent with watching it. I take weekends off to be with Husbandido, but I sneak in some time when he's passed out. Today I had a lot of admin work to take care of at work, and I needed to get over it when I got home.

I had an interesting conversation with my boss today. I told her I was interviewing and was going to be out of the office on Tuesday and Friday. We had a good heart to heart about moving forward in life and taking the opportunities that come your way. I've been really fortunate to be able to have good leadership to inspire and teach me, and one of these days I'll do the same for others. I hope.

One of the questions a colleague asked me was "Where do you see yourself going in the next few years? What's your long range plan?" I thought for a minute. I want to be that person who trains advisors. I want to be able to teach others how to work with students. I've seen great advisors, and I've seen crap advisors, but luckily most fall within the "meh" line.  I hate it when students say to me, "My advisor doesn't spend half the time with me that you did. I don't even think they care!"

That sucks. I can't imagine being a bad advisor, and I can't imagine being a student who has one in their corner. I'm excited about possibility, and it makes so much sense that you should have someone in your corner that believes in possibility, especially your own. I think academic lives are made and destroyed by good advising, but maybe that's just me.

I had a student come by today that was ready to move to Duke University to start medical school. She is a top ranked student, but she's always kept it real with me, and I'm happy that she stopped by and said goodbye before she left.  I wonder if she had a bad advisor, what her life would have been like. I asked her today if someone read her personal statement before she submitted her app, and she flatly said no. Unfair. And then a part of me laughed when she said, "8 revisions later, you said submit it. Just like she said after the first try." Unfair, unfair, unfair.

I've been really thankful that I've had good advisors in life. Hopefully you will have had some along the way.

Anyways, August is coming up, and I've taken the month of July off from the Year of Creativity. Next month is 35MM photography, but I am debating on using my Lomo instead. Let me know what you think. I honestly don't want to think when I shoot, but I don't want to waste film either.

Sales of the book are good. I can't complain, but I wasn't expecting anyone to pony up and buy one either. But if you want it, here's the free shipping code: bfq307. Good until Sept. 30.

Okay. I have to settle down and focus a little bit. Damn Cabernet.  

 Wish me luck. Interview tomorrow.

One!

Voodoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Words dazzle and deceive because they are mimed by the face. But black words on a white page are the soul laid bare.
— Guy de Maupassant

Discuss.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 02:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's late on Sunday, and I realize how late it is as I turn down my Robbie Williams music. I am debating whether or not to do more work on my class (part of it is online), or to blog. I realize I haven't been in touch lately. Maybe it's just that I want to be away from the box more and do more reading.

Since the book went to print, I've had more of a life. Truth be told, it's just like when I finished with All the Things She Left Behind and my dissertation. I feel like I should be doing something, but I'm not. The book has gotten really good reception so far from those who have seen it. I'm starting to get people asking me to help with theirs (to which I respond with bug-eyed huh?). I'm pretty happy about it. I just found some of my old writing, and I'm going to put that aside for now and possibly do another book on the other service, lulu.com for the next book. There's the matter of my poetry collection, Breakfast Lunch Dinner, to publish, but that'll be sooner rather than later. I think it's more vanity than talent that keeps me writing, but the whole idle hands are the devil's work is a truism of mine.

I've been loving life with my Wii, and Husbandido is wailing away on Madden 07. It's so complicated looking, and I think I'll stick to my lame-o Rayman Raving Rabbids or Wii Sports. Or Big Brain Academy. I like simple point, shoot or whatever games. I can't do this complex multitasking football stuff. Brain's not cut out for it, ya know?

I went out to dinner with the Girls on Friday, a celebratory fete of epic proportions. Congratulations on your new life, homegirl. Now go have fun. I hate to see my famed late night prowess be nipped in the bud, but I turned in early where the other girls went out to paint the town. I guess that's what happens when you are about to turn 37.

At any rate, I'll be at work tomorrow, and for all intents and purposes, this marks the end of my summer. My job takes on it's Fall guise in less than two weeks, and I've got a lot under my belt to show for it. I have a piece of papercraft done at the office, no less, that includes "visions" of things I want to obtain or attain in the next five years of my life. It seemed to happen naturally, rather than a careful thinking. I'll have to take a picture of it and add it onto my flickr. Don't worry, I'll let you know.

Today Husbandido and I went out to dinner at E&O Trading Company. It was way overpriced, but we like to get out of the house every now and then. It was pretty much a jammy kind of day, but we hauled ourselves out to get some yummies. It's a sure bet for good food if you have $$ to cover, and luckily we had a $50 gift certificate from OpenTable.com to spend on dinner, so that helped a lot :-). It's one of my favorite places, but $14 bucks for a bowl of pho is a bit extreme. But yes it was good.

August is 35mm photography, and I'm kind of excited about it. A short rundown of what's coming up next:

September: Music (god, i'm kind of scared of this)

October: Manifesto

November: TBA (probably another novel, god, but maybe i'll just make books)

December: the portfolio (putting everything together)

Anyone want to go in on the Year of Creativity next year? Let me know. I'm willing to coach!

So on that note, I'm off to bed. I have a feeling that this came off a little sad, and truthfully, I'm not looking forward to the school year starting. I've had a restorative period, and I'm not ready to go just yet.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I was at a baptism and reception today, and then I also helped my future sister-in-law pick out her dress. It was a good time for all. The Tour de France was on today, and I found myself wrapped up in it as always, sad that I wasn't sure if it was all bad or who was cheating. Who knows. At any rate, that was exciting, and it was nice to hear the old familiar names. Interestingly enough I have already pre-programmed myself to try and catch it before I go to work in the morning. It was SO much easier when I had a TV in my bedroom...but alas, we don't. Which is good and bad.

Above? Oh that's my boy, JLP. I love him. Sometimes I have those moments, but not today.

Oh and I changed my phone number, but not to an iPhone! Stop asking me! If you didn't get the email regarding my digits, please email me and I"ll shoot it over to ya.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 07:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I got off work late again, mostly because I had to help support a colleague with some minutiae. Not altogether a bad gig, but something I wanted to do. With the sun still out late in the evening, it wasn't a big deal to still be at work. It didn't help that my clocks in the office haven't worked for a good few months. At least I knew they were always right twice a day.

I got home, fielded a phone call from a student, and set about to find food in the kitchen. Nothing. I walked downstairs to get the ground turkey from the freezer, and threw it in the microwave to defrost. I grabbed my last book conquest, "Paris to the Moon" by Adam Gopnik. I first got this book a few years ago, when I went to San Diego on a trip. I unfortunately lost it on the plane on the way out, and wanted to report it to lost and found, but Husbandido got impatient with me, and I wound up leaving it for someone else to read.

As I have been on my own these last few months, I have been able to read a lot, and by a lot I mean four books in as many months, most of them in the last month, actually. First was My Horizontal Life. Ghettonation. Suite Francaise. The Road. Now Paris to the Moon. The microwave ticked down its last seconds, just as I finished the last few pages I set aside last night. I have a deep love for Paris, for France, and this book helped me to find that connection again, like someone searching for the light switch in a dark room.

As the last lines reached into me and curled around my swelling heart, I closed the book reluctantly, as if it was a forever goodbye. I stroked the cover, thinking about how many nights I lay awake, my neck bent in a lazy manner poring through pages and pages, only to close my eyes and feel as if that life is only a few heartbeats away.

I got up and moved the now thawed meat to the counter. I chop some scallions and prepare them for the pot. Putting my hand over the pot, I feel it getting warmer and warmer and throw the scallions in, inhaling the sweet pungent smell. Next goes in the meat. I stir it, listening to the sparkling sizzle. A lid put on, I walk back to my room and get my next conquest, The Harsh Cry of the Heron, by Lian Hearn. I took out my bookmark from Paris to the Moon and stared at the cover again, wistfully. I debated on whether or not to sell it back to Green Apple Books, but my decision will come later.

I walked over to the pot again, and stirred it, the pale pink meat now brown. Steam rushes out of the pot, disappearing when I add tomato sauce and kidney beans. Then chili powder. I look at the new book, study the artwork, and open it.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This is a late update, and I'm starting to feel my eye start to get all flamed up like back in the day...every now and then I have one of my eyes turn bright red, get mad itchy and sore. It's not cute, but it happens every now and then. I hate going to the doctor's to get it all straightened out, but hopefully some advil will make me feel better.

Anyway, Husbandido and I went to Fry's yesterday to buy birthday presents for Whitley and some RAM for my Mac Mini cause it ain't cute to fly so slow. I picked up 2 GBs but it turned out that I only needed 1. So this afternoon we went back and returned the goods for a 1GB chipperoni. Now all is good, I run real fast, and now I can do my edits with ease. The book is almost done, I'm just waiting on some bios and self-portraits. People be funny, I swear.

I am teaching one class in the fall, and it's a new (sort of) class, so I've been pretty excited about putting it together. I'm just a little shy about the matter because I'll be mentoring one teacher and one intern through it. It should be exciting, but it's going to be a bit of work. I think I'm going to do some podcasting for the class, but we'll see how that goes.

I just picked up some drag movies, Paris is Burning and Paper Dolls. I guess Pride got me feelin special. I have been meaning to watch Paris is Burning, but I happened to find Paper Dolls only a few titles away. It's a movie about Filipino drag queens...in Israel! Sweet. I will let you know how it goes.

Anyways, nothing new coming at you...more details as I get closer to finishing the libro.

BTW, I finally saw 300. I can appreciate all the jokes like this now:

I would like to say this before I start anything that requires daring: "THIS IS SPARTA!" You know I'm saying this when I get up to go to work tomorrow AM.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I went out this morning to sit out by the pool. I like sitting about with no one there, and personally I enjoy the solitude of it all. Just got back, and I'd thought I'd update you with the news from life at the pool.  

I had to go back to the City yesterday, and I realized how much i really missed being home. Face it, people, there are far more fun things to do in the City than there are anywhere. Go ahead and talk mess, but you know it. Who personally cares that Trader Joes is across the street or there's a pool in your complex. I would much rather have mom and pops and yes it does come down to if my Safeway has the 'ethnic' food i crave. Anyways, enough about this silly ass suburb life.

I am having car issues, and had to get them looked at. I also hung out at a bistro for some good honest french food, and went to tea with my co-workers. Got to see my folks, and I was happy to see them because in all likelihood I won't see them for another week. I won't get into the separation anxiety, but those of you who know me understand. I went shopping at a little boutique too, more on that later. Oh and stopped in at a pub, yes I said pub and yes i had a drinky.

I managed to get nice and dark in the last few days. Honestly it's only 1.5 hours in the sun, mostly around 11AM, so it's pretty hot out.  I stopped off at Nancyboy in Hayes Valley, a shop I totally adore. If you love your boy (or girl) get out there and buy him/her some fun skincare items! I LOVE their home scents, and i am happy to score some SWEET soothing after-sun balm for my now chocolatey ubat. I picked up some shave cream for Husbandido and salt scrub for me. Seriously get there if you can because they only have that one shop, and they have the online store too, but you've got to smell it, so stop in. Met Jack, one of the owners, I assume, and he's a doll. Eric, his partner, writes the blog on the site, and he SLAYS me. Okay enough free publicity, and the after sun balm RULES.

You know what else I'm doing out there? Watching television. i hardly ever watch REAL television, but I have been cracked out on Shear Genius, Rob and Big, and DW Euromaxx. Yay. And Lost? I don't even know where to start. I have to start working on the Europe album soon, so I'll hopefully finish that as well. I've chalked up two books READ since I went on vacay: Kitchen Confidential (I finished what I started yay), and Ghettonation. Both are really good, thought provoking, and if any of you have read it recently, let's chat!

Anyways, I only check work email twice, and I have been chastised for it, but hell, I only respond in two sentences, so it's nothing serious ;-) Okay, off to do...stuff. Whatever that is.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I have left San Francisco for a few days and headed south to San Jose for a few days. I needed to get away from the office for a few days, and thankfully I find myself staying with Husbandido in his apartment.

I hate new places at times: different sounds (airplanes at night and someone throwing away garbage with a satisfying THUD in the AM), different climates (hot, yet not annoyingly so), and different everything. I hope that I have packed enough clothes to last me a few days. I woke up to send Husbandido off to work, then promptly went back to sleep. Graduation this last weekend really kicked my ass. I missed a grand opening because I was comatose. But now I am away from everything, and pretty thrilled to do nothing.

I did bring my scrapbook project. I don't know if I will ever finish it, but I really should. Books to read. Magazines too. A few movies. I'll probably just wind up loafing around, but I'm perfectly happy to do that.

The whales in Sac? They are freakin' lost. I'm waiting for them to tie rope around their tails and drag 'em back to the ocean. Or maybe they can be an evolutionary jump and become our first freshwater whales. i predict that it's just going to be expensive, and true to the world, everyone will just forget and wander away to the next new distraction. See what happened with the war? What war? See?

I'm getting ready to accept the submissions for beatsrhymesnlife: the anthology. You ready to turn 'em in?

I've been thinking a lot about this site and what it means to me, what I could be doing with it or what I've done with my own stuff as of late. I don't know if this means it's time for a change (template skins would be easy to do) or if it's time for a Change (theme, purpose, etc). Stay tuned. 

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 04:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My bad, my BRL shop link isn't working...so here you go, people. Buy Voodoo Stuff! Don't buy ME stuff, buy stuff I made...for the people! Enjoy.

I am particularly proud of my PCN line. Enjoy.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Good day to be the Voodoo. this week i had dinner with my alumni students, young people I have worked with since they were freshmen, and now they are in the working world. So interesting to see them all grown up and stuff. I'm not used to seeing them in work attire...mostly I see them in their sweat state while being students, you know. I decided to call them together to have dinner after thinking about doing it...I'm of the mindset these days that if I want to do anything, I'm just going to freakin' do it. Thank god for the Year of Creativity. It's taught me so much.

Tonight was the first of two weddings for brother-in-law #2, The Robot. He and his lovely bride Toe Socks had the Chinese wedding banquet tonight. First off, this is my first Chinese wedding banquet. Been to an Indian wedding (chori, chori). Been to a Latino wedding. Been to an African American wedding. All weddings have their own particulars, something unique to that culture, and it's pretty dope. i know non-Filipinos who haven't been to Filipino weddings sometimes say that we have peculiar things (money dance, slide show, traditions at the wedding ceremony), and it's fair to say Chinese weddings have the same ta-da to them. They play lots of little games, lots of cognac, and plenty of freakin' food. I feel partially bad because I'm a really bizarro eater, and I didn't eat anything until the 6 or 7th course. And even then it was lobster and I HATE shellfish, but I felt bad that I didn't want to eat anything at all. So I sucked it up and ate lobster, almost gagged, but I ate it!

I grabbed a bunch of ribbon for art projects afterwards. They were used as decoration, but that's the teacher in me. Always wanting to have something out of nothing. You never know when you'll need it, right?

We'll do the Catholic wedding and reception thingy on Saturday in Santa Clara. fun in the sun, kid. I'm SO pissed that I don't have a working vid cam. i'm making do right now with my Nikon, but I'm ready to buy a new camera ;-) Maybe I'll ask Mango aka Big Daddy Best Buy. :-D

Okay I'm off to get some rest. I'll harass you brlers later. I'm getting some hype for the anthology. I can't wait.

Peace,

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So I've come to a conclusion: I am going to do short movies. Nothing spectacular, possibly four five-minute movies, one every Sunday. I've done some filming, but nothing too serious. I'm looking forward to seeing what I come up with.

Thanks for the offer of the cammy, Pterodactyl.

I sent out my call for entries for the beatsrhymesnlife anthology last night. So far, a few bites, and everyone says the same thing: I'm going to do some digging. Seriously. I think everyone who IMed me last night said just that. Pretty awesome.

The plan is to get submissions at the end of May, and work on laying out the goodies through June-July, and hopefully publish the bad boys in September. Those of you who know me know that I think the world of the publishing process. I also am a very strong believer in the creative process being within each and every one of you. I'm thrilled of being able to put this project together and getting my friends in on the goodies. Why should I be the only one who enjoys a year of creativity?

Speaking of the Year of Creativity, I need to set up a website for the project. Hrm. God, another website I have to worry about :-p. Oh well, next time.

Time to do some editing work...I do it on the side for doctoral dissertations. Oh and LOST is on! Don't bug me. ;-)

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I was prepared, rather, to do this entry tomorrow as opposed to today. I am wrapping up month #3's project of digital photography tomorrow, and I'm a little sad about wrapping it up. It's been a productive month, albeit I did get started a little late...it was hard to switch gears after my trip to Chicago.

I've been thinking...that it's been interesting carrying around two cameras these few days, one my trusty 2.0 megapixel Nikon and Mango's 5.0 megapixel Canon. I do prefer my Nikon, truthfully. The pictures are so much better than his, but don't tell him that. I do think it's time to upgrade though - it loads so slowly, and I think that's what the Canon does better. From on to a shot, it goes so fast. Nikon needs to wake up, warm up, blink the sleep out of its eyes, and then can finally take a picture.

Back to why it's so interesting: the camera really does help me see things a little better. I want to stop and capture things now, not that I didn't want to do that before, but I have a fearlessness about stopping, whipping out the cammy and taking a picture. I am excited for August because it's going to be my 35mm month, and I'm debating about using my Lomo or trying to fix Dad's old SLR. I shoot so much better with my Lomo in that spontaneous style, but the SLR can't be beat.

Another interesting thing has popped up: I'm continuing to write poetry, even though that month has long passed by. Maybe perhaps I bought some new pens from my favorite store EVAR: Kinokuniya. Check out the pens. Dope, aren't they? I want to buy more! I didn't expect that I'd want to write more after having such a challenge with writing poetry, but it's paid off in ways I can't even explain. I hope the same thing happens for me with photography.

I'm a little remiss about next month's challenge: video. While I do have a video camera, it's just a little unwieldy to do video. Photography was easy enough, but I can't just whip out the video cam. Kinda weird. But I'll try to figure out what I'll do with it. 

I'm almost embarassed when people ask me when they're going to get to see my work. I'm a little surprised that people would care enough to ask, but I'm going to post it probably on my flickr soon enough. I am getting closer to finalizing my invitation list for the beatsrhymesnlife anthology, and the email is forthcoming. I am really excited about that opportunity, and am looking forward to putting that out. I am also realizing that if everything works out right, I'll have enough this year with the Year of Creativity Project to put out my own stuff as well. Assuming of course I can edit everything down, you know?

At any rate, the experience thus far: exhilarating. Some of it was very difficult so far (novel writing killed me), but its payoffs are pretty cool. Three months down, nine more to go! But um, two of those months, July and November are unclaimed. If any of you have any bright fuckin' ideas of what you want me to do on either of those months, I'll gladly entertain the notion. Put it in the comments.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It's early, I'm tired, and I haven't blogged. I'm a little hopped up on adrenaline, and I want to go back to sleep, seeing as to how I went to bed late and all.

First off, the last few days I've been with my students as they get ready for their PCN. It was hell, I tell you, from a technical perspective, but in the end, as with this group, they are strangely blessed with the ability to pull it off. What's amazing is that they really do this over and over again. I'll mark this as the worst pre-production I have ever seen. Congrats, kids. Like I said, no one knows you screwed up until you show us that you messed up. Chewing gum on stage. Kills me.

Last night, I got home pretty late. Mango was passed out, but I hadn't eaten dinner at that time. I get home, tell him I'm hungry, then  figure it's too late for us to go tooling around for food (and i'm not going to Lucky Chances, sorry), We instead go to Jack in the Crack, which excites Mango because he gets to relive his College Late Night Food Run experience (Jumbo Jack with cheese and 4 tacos). Two experiences with the porcelin gods should mean that his college days are over, baby, over.

This morning, my dad is shouting, MY CAR! MY CAR! VOODOO WAKE UP! SOMEONE TOOK MY CAR! He let his ride warm up in the driveway, and went into the bathroom to, uh, drain, and he heard the truck driving away. So yep. Someone jumped into his truck and sped off with it. He gave chase on foot, but couldn't get a good look at the person. We called the good ol' SFPD and they sent over two women officers (while Dad was talking to them, I went to get Mango, who was in bed, that there were two pretty hot women cops outside...he came out, went to wash his face and be presentable, then they drove away. Hahahah.). It's frustrating that someone might be watching our house, or that we are probably at risk being so near a crappy part of town and on the end of a cul de sac (if that's what the bourgeois call the dead end) where we get a lot of foot traffic from the hood. I also learned that if we happen to see the car and take it back without calling the officers, we get taken down at gunpoint. Fancy.

Well that's it for now. I have a video for you to watch since you do rely on some cultural references:

Little boy. Beyonce. WTF? WORK IT OUT, HONEY.

Enjoy. Shitty morning, long week, and I'm ready to take a vacation again...but that's life. You get up and you move on.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 07:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Come on, like you don't need one of these.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Okay, so I owed you some numbers. Poetry. Yes.

24.

I'm a little embarassed, actually. I set such a high goal for myself. 50. But alas, it wasn't to be. Poetry happens to be a wonderful form of expression, and I just couldn't bring myself to crank out shit poems for the sake of a deadline. I am going to definitely continue my writing as I go through the days. It was wonderful to settle into a practice of writing before bed, after the day's events came and went, contemplating everything.

But March, my friends is the month of photography. I wish, however, that I remembered that. I haven't taken a picture yet. I will have to bring my camera with me to work and everywhere else I go for the next few days. I am going to organize a slide show for you when I'm done. That means I'll have to get out of the house, won't it. Great.

I am looking forward to picking up more creative forms as I go along. Now if only I could remember what I was going to do next.

Ah wait, 25 including the Fag Hag's Lament.

Okay I feel better. thanks Sammy.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Man oh man. I had a job interview today. I wanted to do it because mainly because I need to keep my skills up and get my name/face/butt out there to meet the people. Oh yah, and the money was good. But anyways, I enjoyed meeting people, talking with the peoples, etc.  It was a strange interview, one I had never done before: a one hour writing sample and the second hour is the actual interview. I prepared myself with my favorie pen, but I was taken to a computer lab and given the prompt: retention. Great. I crank out two pages, single space. I did a word count when I was done, and busted out 1167 words. Why wasn't it this easy when I was doing my novel. Hrm. At any rate, the admin comes back and prints out a few copies. It comes out a little crazy, but 6 copies. Done and done.

I notice that she said to save it on the desktop. I do so, and there is another .doc on there. Arnold.doc. I wonder if that's another applicant. I am tempted to open and read, but I don't.

I am now escorted to another building, where the actual interview is going to go down. I'm in a room that has a huge oval shaped table with a hollow middle. An oblong donut. I'm on one side. Five other people on the other side. They are all older than me except the African American woman; I try to not feel so distant from them, but it's hard. The chair I'm in is big and deep. I sink into it like a kid. There is a list of questions before me. I've never been in an interview where the questions are actually sitting there in front of me. I shove it aside, literally. I am not going to rely on it. It seems like a weird thing to have at an interview anyways. I know if I read it, it will make me not do the whole eye contact thing.

9 questions. 50 minutes. I am exhausted afterwards. Good questions though. I find out that this is just the first round. I may or may not be asked to come back for the 2nd one which involves the President and the Vice President. Holy moly. Big stuff. I was wondering why I was going to meet five people, most of whom already work in the Center. Intriguing. I think learning that made me more stressed out. I did, however, answered every single question. Nothing too difficult, but I got a sense they were looking for something specific.

I don't know how I did. I left with that oh shit feeling in my heart that never bodes well, but at the very least I know I need to step my game up. Here's some of the good stuff that you need to know for an interview:

1. Know your population. I studied the shit out of their clientel. I also made sure I understood their language and thusly was able to speak to them in terms that they know.

2. Know why you are a good fit for the organization. First question at almost every single interview I've ever had.

3. Be confident but not cocky. You're applying for a job and wanting to show your best qualities. You're not a know it all. They are.

4. Eye contact. Maintain it. Even when they're not. 

5. Go to 99 Ranch afterwards and buy yourself a bag of shrimp chips and eat them on the way home. You deserve a reward for all your hard work.

You want to read my essay? After the jump. Wish me luck. 

Voodoo 

Continue reading "The Interview: Voodoo Gets Into It" »

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Okay. I have a confession to make. 100 poems is too much. I tried in the last few nights to crank out 3 a night, but I just can't do it. I thought about it too...50K words of a story is aight. I can knock that out for reals because each word contributes, and it's about quantity, right? You can tell a story in that way.

But poetry demands precision, careful thought, and a modicum of expression that I just cannot rush through. I tried it and rushed poetry is better off not written. Period. I won't sacrifice quality for quantity.

So I'm going to halve that. 50. I think I can handle that. I have struggled with this since day one. I started off with one poem, a sestina, that took me two hours to write. TWO. I wanted to cry it took me so long, but I was determined to do it, so I did. 2 HOURS!

I bumped off two of them last night as well. All in all, I have five so far. I think I can do 50. We'll see how I do on the 28th.

This is the plan that I've come up with so far: 

January: Fiction

February: Poetry

March: Photography (Digital)

April: Video

May: Non-fiction

June: Painting

July: Break, my god.

August: Photography (35MM)

September: Music

October:  Manifesto

November: TBA (possibly fiction again)

December: Merge all projects into one project, possibly for show. 

That's my plan, I guess. I don't know how good I will be at sticking to it, but I plan on doing a goodly amount of it. I promised myself that 2007 was the year of creativity. 2008 will be the year of sloth.

Much love!

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So I wrote one poem today. I don't know if I just cursed myself by only doing one...I know I'll have to step up my game a little this weekend to make up for lost time.

I tried a sestina. One of my faculty members mentioned it to me and had me all in a bunch trying to figure out how to write one. At the very least I don't think I"ll try to write another one this month. That was fucking HARD. Took me like 2 hours.

Anyway, 99 to go.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Okay kids, now that I've conquered the world in fiction writing, now it's time for me to move into the realm of poetry.

I've been a big fan of poetry myself: Bukowski, Angelou, Cesaire, Shakespeare, Gibran, Neruda, to name the few gods I've read over the years. I need to go back to memorize my favorites; it's been far too long.

So here's my goal: 60 poems. Pretty easy. I do two a day. If I bust out in Haiku, it's 5 for that day. If I decide to do a day of sonnets, so be it. You will notice that February only has 28 days; I have to put in a few poems extra. I also have a recruiting trip I'm going to (Chicago, baby!), so I'll have sufficient distraction to get in the way. I would dare say I could do 100, but if I do, that'd be nonsense...but then again, why the hell not. Okay fine, 100 poems. God what did I just type.

I could easily change that, but...oh well. I thought it, I commit to it. There you have it.

Someone said, my god, how many books are you going to do? Well, if I make it through this month, then it'll be 3 at the least: I have a nonfiction book I've got sitting in my head as well, and I'm going to give it some time until I get that one out. I've been completely sleep deprived from the January sessions.

I don't think I'll lose sleep over the poetry, but then again you never know, right?

So that's my goal. 100 poems for February.

Oh and the title of January's work: All the Things She Left Behind. The February title will be revealed March 1.

Voodoo 

PS: I failed to mention to things: 1) if anyone wants to go in cahoots with me to do 100 poems, let me know. I'd love to schedule a writing session with you. 2) help pay for beatsrhymesnlife! it don't pay for itself, children!

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So after I lost everything, and I mean everything that I had done today, I panicked and got my shit together and fired up my baby Mac Mini and got back to work. I uploaded the last version of the document I "backupped" that's a mango word, btw, and cranked it out. Fuck that. I was not going to let this get me undone, people.

I am done. DONE you hear me. DONE DONE DONE.

I did it after eating a fat bowl of garlic fries with husbandido. Maybe that was it. And the picture, thanks Toodles. It's my fave, right here next to me.

I am not, I repeat, NOT going to let anything get me down! Bah! I lost a good amount of work but made it up and finished in 1.5 hours. Celebration date to be announced soon. I am now going to get some sleep. Fucking DONE DONE DONE!

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 02:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I realized that, before writing this entry, I could have finished it tonight, but I opted not to and save it for tomorrow.

I honestly don't know why, but it feels good to be able to look those last 700 something words in the face and say, hey fuckers I'll be back for you. At any rate, I'm going to hit the sack early, but not after doing some reading. Who knows, I might just come back and finish it tonight just to spite myself.

nah, I want to rest. Been a busy day! We took Papa Voodoo to the Palace Hotel to have brunch to celebrate his retirement. I was a little bummed that he didn't want to eat much more, but that's a dad for you. The food was great, and if you have ducats to spare, head on down there for some EXCELLENT food and you wont' be disappointed, I promse. I came home afterwards and guess who passed out? Man, it was that good. I never pass out these days.

Any ways, I'm out. Gotta think of a way to wrap it all up, but in actuality I need to think about how to support the ending by filling in some blanks in the middle, right? Aw fuck it who cares, all I was shooting for was 50K, and I'm almost there.

VDC 

UPDATE: did something completely stupid. erased everything. thankfully i uploaded a backup from this afternoon. so...number goes back down. excuse me while i barf a little...oh and I've never broken out in a cold sweat like that before...well maybe this one time when I really had to pee but couldn't find a place...but i digress.  

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So I wound up doing a little bit more tonight than I thought...I'm pleased. Cranked out almost 3K words. Bomb.

I thought i'd take a moment to do some FAQs witchoo:

1. So, did you outline your entire book?

No, actually on day 1 I just started to write. I had an idea, but I tried to keep it real and limited myself to whatever I could come up with on that particular day. Sometimes I'd try to do a plot line, but I felt limited by it, to be honest so I try not to think too much when I'm doing the work.

2. What are you going to do with it when you're done?

I am probably going to invite you to drinks. If anyone's in the area and is down, let me know.

3.  If you can sum up what you've done so far, what would you say?

I will say it's about coming of age for fresh college grads as well as parents. Starts out kind of not like my life then turned into my life. I won't say which parts.

4. Is there any sex?

Ha.

5. What is the hardest part about writing?

Getting in that zone and maintaining it. Being committed to the project was not that hard after I told you all. You're very...motivating.

6.  I'm down to do it in November. What do I need to do...

Stay posted, I'll do the call in October and then we'll do a get together crank it out session on the first day. It should be fun, people! I'm glad you're interested.

7.  Did you do any of it at work?

I did very little at work. I thought it was going to be difficult, and I'd need to bring my machine to work to hammer out a chapter or two, but I've done little if anything at work. I found it easy to do it at home; actually I didn't sacrifice anything other than sleep this whole month.  

8. What's the title?

All the Things She Left Behind

9. Don't lie: am I going to see myself in the book?

Some of you might see things that are familiar: phrases, situations, themes, places. I think my characters are all of you rolled up, the good and the bad, but I won't tell you anything more.

10. What kind of machine are you working on?

A Dell D610 Laptop running Ubuntu Linux, Edgy Eft distro. My entire story is written on Open Office 2.0.

11. How many pages? 

71 so far. Single spaced.

12.  Are you going to let other people read it?

I don't know just yet. Maybe i'll clean it up and make it look presentable. Then I'll decide. I know I have lots of holes to fill, so it might take a while.

Okay I'm off to bed. Good night people. ANy other ?'s , let me know in the comments.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I decided (because I'm the decider!) to get an early start today so I wouldn't stay up so late tonight..unless for some reason i was going to be productive tonight...Did pretty good, 1325 in two hours or so. I have tons of errands to run today, involving running around town and the like. Hope all is well with you! Hope it won't rain on me! Yikes!

VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Whee. I'm trying to tie up loose ends at this point...Like I've said before, the story might not be there just yet, but it's good to start on the end. I figure I'll bust my ass to finish, and then fill in the dead spots. You've heard this before, I know. But I'm quickly moving towards a saucy love scene. that should knock out 5000 characters alone. Ha.

It's almost 3AM, and I took a nap earlier, so I'm a little out of sorts time wise. I had a busy day at work today, dealing with students, running meetings, etc. Pretty average day for me. I'll be doing more in the next week, and that's just par for the course. Any first week back brings me joy to see the kids again, but it is also a shitload of work to be done.

This weekend comes to me at a good time; I have a break from the madness, and for the first time in a long time I don't have any plans. I will do a coffee meet up with a friend and that's probably about it! Enjoy your weekend and if all goes well I'll make good progress towards the end of the book!

Peaceout!

VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 02:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

An extraordinarily productive night. One of the nights that I did the most writing, actually. Maybe it's inspiration, maybe it's because the end is so near, maybe it's because I had a cracked out mocha boba at 3PM while I was at work. I love working near the New Chinatown...it's so freakin' easy to get the sesame balls I love so much and damned boba. Crack boba.

I realized tonight that I will probably need to push past my goal to satisfactorily end the story, but that's a happy problem, right? I am glad that I got this far, though.

Work has been sheer hell this week, with so much to do be done, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who knows what's going on. Truth be told, maybe I think I'm the only one who knows what's going on. I have a small world, it needs to be said. I will say this: one of the most important things I've learned to say thus far in my professional life can best be summed up in one word: "No."

I had a lot of work today, and I needed to bust out a few projects Voodoo-style: things only I can do because of my knowledge; and planning that needed to happen in only a few minutes of private uninterrupted time. I closed my door and cranked it out. Its' hard to do that in my world - the path to my door is well-worn and memorized by many who like to encourage others to stop by for a bit. So shutting my door, holding my calls, delaying responding to that email at this very second (my email is set to only fetch mail every 55 minutes, not every minute. try it, it's amazing or my productivity), gets me crankin' and bam, products DONE. I will do that again tomorrow, if only I can turn off my IMs! ;-) Say no, peeps. It's amazing what you can get done.

At any rate, I can't wait until the weekend gets here. I needs to get some good quality sleep! Last night before 1? Tonight before 12? I'm on a roll here, people.

Kisses,

Voodoo 

PS: Did I tell you that the other day, my trusty laptop crashed? I couldn't boot it back up. I got command line looking stuff. I honestly don't know what happened, but I got up to 40K and the ol' girl died on me. I thought I was going to cry, but luckily I emailed myself a copy of the text that I have so far, so thank god, but can you imagine? Anyway, whew to that!

Continue reading "42858" »

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yep. That's a 4-0-1-2-8, people. Can you diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig it. Of course you can. I knew you could.

It's early tonight, about a little after midnght, and although I think I can squeeze another hour and a half out of me, I'm going to put it down for the night. A little Thai coffee at Lingba Lounge helped me out, as did the Rock Cod curry, which I highly recommend.

I had dinner tonight with The Traveller who helped provide many laughs, as always, and that was nice. We are homies online and love to chat it up, especially about where in the world we'd like to go next, and he had some interesting perspectives to share, which is always nice. I love the well-travelled set, they know what I mean when I say, it's nice to get out of the country for a bit, because you realize how insignicant everything is. You question not only your concept of space and time and place, but your concept of self. If you can get away from it all, then by all means, get the fuck out of dodge.

40128!

Today at work was hell, there are always meetings to go to, people to see and consult with. It's tiring at times, and not to mention challenging to stay focused. I am, for the large part, easily distracted (ooh pretty bird!) so I have to reallywork at it to stay in one place long enough to get my shit done. Luckily it was handled well, my friends, and I'm ready to go back tomorrow for more.

I only wish I had the time at work to put some words down for the libro, I get great ideas all the time. Luckily I am SO ripe with material at work it's painfully overstimulating, but I gotta focus on the task at hand. So far so good, right?

Anyways, I'm goign to go to bed early. Seriously, this is the first time before 1AM that I've gone to bed this entire month. Hopefully Thai coffee won't hurt a sister too much and I'l be able to crash. ;-)

Goodnight and 40128!!! 9872 to go. 20% left. God I love the numbers.

Voodoo 

PS: Are you the ONE?: http://www.helpharrison.com 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I think the hardest thing about this project has most definitely been the lack of sleep. Today I only put down 600 or so words, nothing serious, but luckily I'm ahead of the game. I'm up so late every night because there's a part of me that needs uninterrupted time to work, when people are engaged in their television or video games.

I got home, talked to the folks, watched the State of the Union for a bit, and then said, I'm going to take a nap. Four hours later, I kid you not, I wake up, and voila, it's midnight. I crank out what I feel like I can, and then I'm done. I might have to beat myself up for not writing, but I think tonight my sleep was more important, right?

So forgive me. that last 13K is going to have to wait a little longer, but I feel much better than i did earlier today.

Your zombie,

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Okay, non novel related stuff first.

1. I have a colleague who always asks for copies of my work to see what I've done, to presumably see what's been done and form her own presentations/works from there (she's asked to see my work before, usually it's because she has to do the same presentation i've done before yet has to somehow make it his own). I've learned to not get upset about it (all the time, people, it happens all the time), and give up the work, even though there's a piece of me that wonders if I'll ever get the appreciation I deserve. She literally doesn't have to do much because I've given everything to her. This has got to appear in my book somewhere. If not here, fucking definitely in the next one, oh it totally will.

2. Job search comes and goes, and there are days that I'm excited over it and other ones where I want to just suck it up and live it up while I can.  It's a classic struggle between the benefits of one over the other, and the need as well that I have for something new and challenging that will probably kick my ass, but we all need a kick in the ass every now and then.

3. Bone Marrow Meeting went well today, you'd be surprised how many people want in on the party. If any of you want to come out and help, please let me know in the email . Hey, OFD, get back to me. You will be helping a brother, you know.

4.  Trying to not be bitter over #1 still. It's hard, but yah, not bitter.

Okay so we're at #37076, and the story has taken a turn for the supernatural! I think I'll incorporate dragons and talking trees next. God knows I've already introduced the hobbits. I've also learned tonight that Sex Machine, by James Brown is the most AWESOMEST work song ever. I chopped out about 900 words alone to it. You heard it hear first, it's my clutch song. Sort of like beer goggles at a party with no so rock star attendees (present party not included, of course).

I'm ready to start winding up, which means I'm going to have to bust out some moments of AHA! and OHO! the kind of moments in books or movies where you say, awwwww shit, the key was in dude's pocket the whole time! daaaaaaaaang. Okay maybe not, but 13K words? We better wrap this shit up soon. It's now officially Tuesday, 1/23, and one week from now I'll be banging out the last of the words. If you want anything funky to happen, put it in the comments, I'll try to work it in. I'm not making any promises here, but chances are, if someone gets scooped up in a UFO to be taken to a planet of hot women who are sex starved, I'll just blame it on you, my faithful reader.

And before I leave, here's something for ya':

 From Giant Mecha:

Cause Voodoo Said So, in 37076 words. 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Whew. 70% done.

I took last night off to be with family, two family parties to be exact. I hadn't anticipated being away that long and feeling so tired, and I had massive guilt about not writing that night. I couldn't wait to sit down and crank out some words. Luckily I worked ahead of myself these last few days, and I technically didn't lose any ground.

I am reaching the point of the turn in the story, the downhill slide that will take me to the end of the show only a few days away. I'm wondering if I can get there neatly, or if I have to add in some parts here and there to fill in the blanks. I feel like it's the latter. Nothing ever ends neatly, does it. 

I spent today having brunch with the one and only Bruce Leroy and cruising around with Cream Puff. It was nice to be out in the City today, but I was constantly working out story kinks all day, and feeling eager to get back home. I have to admit that I already know this feeling: when I was working at my dissertation, when I was done, I felt a great sense of accomplishment, but I also felt a great sense of loss. I was...done.

I'm looking forward to finishing this story, but I'm also looking forward to my next one. It will come soon, I know, but at the very least this is one life goal that's DONE! I'm thrilled beyond belief, but I'm also bustin' my ass to finish! I have lost lots of sleep over this, and I'm feeling like I will take a very nice well deserved nap when all of this madness is done.

Gee, look at the time. I bet you five bucks that latte I had earlier today won't let me sleep, and that I crank out another 5K. LOL I wish! ;-)

oodoo

PS: swatch has a voodoo watch now! can you believe it? sa-weet!

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Woot! What a productive day. See what happens when you throw in a good dream sequence? LOL

My big goal is 35K by next Tuesday, so I think I'm in good shape. I might need to spend some time thinking about these characters and finding out what's going to happen in their lives. Big family party tomorrow night; I might get some material there ;-) Who knows, maybe I"ll bust out 40K by then. Okay, putting the pipe down.

It is farking COLD tonight, people! Doesn't help that my desk is near my window. Thank god for North Face fleece. My favorite stuff ever. Husbandido El Mango passed out early tonight (I suspect his love of meat has done him in), so that's part of the reason why I busted a move tonight. I might even play some XboX if so inclined. Doubt it, but still. Just sayin'.

Also, big LOVE to my biggest and bestest fan who sent me mail (REAL MAIL, fancy that). I'm going to put it up by my desk to keep me pushing until 50K! It's so damn easy to start, but getting the middle down is a bitch! I am looking forward to making 50K early so I can go back and fill in the dead spots, and I know there are few.

I haven't been this productive since my dissertation, yo. But like my last post was, I set up a bone marrow drive at my office, so that was a MAJOR coup for me. I am very fortunate to have resources that I can do that kinda stuff. So happy! Okay, I'm going to sign off, get my butt into bed and read my fat book: Eldest by Christopher Paolini. Then off to sleep. Remember, in order to become a good writer you need to be a good reader.

Much love!

Voodoo 

PS: I write best to James Brown (RIP), Jack Johnson, Damien Rice, Tupac, MC Solaar and some good house/ambient music from Brazil/SF. I need a new iPod b/c I can't read what's playing, and I usually just hit  next until I find one of the artists I mentioned. Sad.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Meh, not a great night. I did get started early which is always good, but I am just tired. Physically going to bed late has kicked my butt, and I'm going to take a night off to read a little and think a little more about how I want this story to end up. I'm about 20K away from the end of all things (60% completed, thank you very much), and I think I know how it's going to end, but from this point, I don't know how to get there. So I'm going to sleep on it.

So sue me, only 1,000ish words tonight. Tomorrow back on track because I plan on staying up until god knows when to knock it out baby!

oodoov 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Stagnation. Yuck. So today I consulted with a friend regarding my stuck-ness. I brought a character out of a coma, but now, I don't know what to do with her. Don't worry, she's not out doing the tango just yet, but she's definitely not...all there. It's kinda funny, you know, I wanted to bring her out to get the story moving, but it's not, and shit, so something else has to happen.

I was really hoping to bust through 30K today, but I think I need to plan out the course. I have at least another 20K to go, so things have to sort of start to resolve themselves or at least become self-evident, right? Well, I sat down to write a story. I didn't have one in my head when it started, I just wanted to write. Each night I literally sit down, maybe I think about what's happening, most of the time I don't. My routine looks like this:

1. Either get into bed or go to desk.

2. bust out the laptop or connect it to my docking station (a real pain in the butt, which is why I just write in bed now, but it's bad for my back) (3 minutes)

3. settle in. (2 minutes)

4. get out of chair and look for ipod. (2 minutes, 5 minutes if I've switched bags or if I'm really tired)

5. find ipod. get into bed. make sure feet are warm. when feet are cold, sucks to write. (5 minutes)

6. find suitable song to motivate self. (10 minutes)

7. log into www.google.com/reader to catch up with friend's blogs and other websites I read on a daily basis. (if you don't already do this, you really need to. ask me to show you my line up if you're ever bored). (30 minutes) If i'm commenting 45 minutes.

8. open up the .odt. that's right, i said .odt. i am writing on a linux laptop, not my beloved mac. it kills me, but I do need to be flexible and move my stuff around, and laptop is easy. (30 seconds)

9. stare at the page (10 minutes)

10. write something, then delete (5 minutes)

11. get angry because i shouldn't be editing myself so much, just write. (1 minute)

12. go check email (10 minutes)

13. write another paragraph or two (10 minutes)

14. turn on IMs. respond to the 5 windows that pop up with people asking me for word counts (5 minutes)

15. snack time? yes? (15 minutes)

rinse and repeat. I blame my lack of progress primarily on the google reader and checking email. the IMs? Yes I do better when they're not on, but I do so love you guys. BTW: go check out the newbs! They've been productive, they have!

VdC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I rule. Cranked out 2600 something words tonight. I decided to bring the character out of a stroke. I just couldn't take it ;-) I might however drop her back in a little longer (insert more chapters inbetween where she wakes up and where she went out).

I dunno. It's interesting...having gotten this far on nothing but a serious whim. I think about it daily...obsess over it really, that somehow it's possible that I can pull this off. Well, I'm not going to count dem chickens.

Anyways, the kids will be back en masse tomorrow. At least the newbs will be. I look forward to having some noise around the office, we're in a new semester, new vibe, all of that. So it's a good thing, and I'm happy to be at work. Classes start full blast on Monday, so you know, that means we're going to be at it big time, and I'm a little afraid of it taking up space in my writing life.

Granted though, I don't write until after 9PM, and if I'm lucky it's before 11. Most likely though it's not. Kills my sleep pattern. Speaking of which I really should get to sleep. It's a big day tomorrow! I hopefully will break 30000 (which leaves another 20K to go, babies!), and who knows what's next.

Goodnight! Sweet dreams and if you have any ideas for me to throw in the story, let me know.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Okay, maybe you did (or didn't) notice the slight...dip...in numbers. I would normally expect a huge JUMP after coming back home from our trip to Los In Laws. The harsh truth is that I was busy with laundry. I am La Laundry Girl back at the house. It's normally my gig whilst Husbandido is either watching football (or in this case watching reruns of Tom Brady) or doing something other than laundry.

By the end of the night I was just too plain tired to write, and truth be told, I was up until 3 and 4 in the morning the last few days, seriously, up and writing. Husbandido was with his Xbox, and I, well, had my laptop and writing in the corner. At the very least, I'm where I should be at this time. I had a couple nights of stellar clarity that helped get me to double what I was supposed to do; those nights helped to offset my "aw shit I gots nothing" nights.

I've hit a wall with my story, which is not too uncommon, but in my quest for 50K it's pretty messed up. I've decided not only to give a character a stroke, but kill off another one. It's not about the story which I am sure is kinda crappy to begin with, but knocking out 50K, people. To quote some sportscaster, "it's not about you made it to the playoffs, it's if you can WIN. Saying "you made it' is a loser's mentality."

So anyways, the story is pretty dope so far, with the exception of hitting a wall. I think I'm going to try to work on it early tonight so I can get some decent sleep. I'm pretty tired today, and at 4:15 I could use a nap. Okay maybe nap first, writing later.

BTW, anyone who wants to do National Novel Writing Month with me again in November (I know, twice in a year would kill me but I'll do it), please shoot me an email and let me know. I'm down! Nothing says "get that shit done" like having a bunch of your friends get on you and a very public deadline that everyone and their moms knows signifies the end of your 50K run. For those of you not so fictionally inclined, here's Script Frenzy, your shot at doing a script in one month.

Also, thanks you guys for IMing me. Pressure to me is nothing. Pressure from friends sucks balls, and yah, well, if when I finish, let's get a drink somewhere.

Wish me luck, I am going to be halfway tonight, and if I'm real lucky, I will be at 30K.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 03:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dude, I am SO hauling ass right now you don't even know. Just kidding.

Thanks for all the emails of support I've been getting, complete with threats of "I better not see myself in there" or "Damn you if you are going to write about that special time we shared together." Shizzo like that. JK,I'm writing about each and everyone of you, so help me god. It's the least I can do.

I have some side news: New Writers, people! I am proud to revitalize Girls' Night Out with Squeak making a return appearance, and now adding a new voice on there (I believe she's to be named Tiyan, damn right that's stomach for you taglish speaking honies). I've also added onto the heap The Nomad, a travellin' friend of mine who has a very unique eye on the world. Check both of them out; I know Nomad has a post up already, and I'm still waiting on Girls' Night Out for some love.

Check out the other writers for some new news for ya booty! The list is on your right---> :-)

Go Patriots (Tom Brady you are SO fine), and I need to get into bed. Peace out from Sacto!

V'doo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Look at the time. I got a late start tonight, I usually start around 9PM, but I started at 1AM, fuckin' 1AM. But I hauled ass and I'm almost at 40% of goal. Good night, kids. Thanks for the support! You are all assholes, by the way. ;-)

-VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 04:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

That's where I am so far. I feel like I'm totally behind, having taken a night or two 'off.' Oh well, that's life. I finally have a direction to go in, so I feel like the rest will just fall into place.

It's a pain though, not the writing process, just worrying about whether or not I have it all down: I have a character who goes through a significant medical crisis (a stroke) and I'm not sure if I have it all down. The point is, though, that I have to just write, even though its' wrong, just to get it written, right?

Even though 15429 is a pretty dope number, according to my goal of 1667 words every night, I'm off by one night. I am enjoying myself, really. It's kind of exciting, but it's taken a lot of work to keep focused. I find that i do my best writing around 9-12, and if I'm on a roll, I can knock out the daily average in an hour or so.

I'm not going to go into much detail about the characters, but it's loosely based on a conglomerate of a life I've led; figure that if I'm going to try and crank out 50K words, it might as well be somewhat familiar to me, right? And don't you go in there trying to find out who you are or what I've revisioned as you. I hope that I'll be able to finesse the piece more when I'm done with it. So far so good, I tell myself.

Saw the state of the union tonight. I had to quit watching it because his eyes were freaking me out. MacWorld was the shit yesterday, kids. I have to post pictures for your viewing pleasure, but in a meanwhile, the iPhone? Sexy. That bad boy is like porn: dudes crowded around it, coming from it at all angles, wanting to touch it, see it, smell it, but more likely than not, take a picture of it. There were two of them in glass cases, and everyone had to get a piece, but your Voodoo Mama says oh no child, I'll be back here while you boys have at it up there. I also had the great opportunity to talk to developers, those small companies who are cranking out great products to the peoples. I happened upon a few of them from the fun MyDreamApp project as well as MacAppaDay. It's real nice to meet the folks who put out programs I actually use (Overflow, Pzizz, and Noise) and give them live feedback: "Your app is the shit!"

Anyways, it's high time I passed out for the night, kids! Nite nite and once again, be creative this year. Sucks to be repeating yourself over and over again, even worse to reiterate what someone else said without citing it. And yes I meant that for someone in particular. Didn't you learn anything about plagiarizing? Tsk tsk.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So far so good. I have 10,299 words, about 20% of my goal. I took last night off after about 900 words, so I'm a little behind where I should be. Oh yah, and my night out with the boys killed me too.

I did manage to crank out 2500 words one night, but that doesn't make up for it. I'll get back into it tonight. As it is, I'm kind of stuck on what to do next. Keep in mind I'm not really trying to write the perfect novel, it's about dumping 50,000 words out. And writing beatsrhymesnlife over and over again don't count.

I have added one more writer to the stash of writers...I will update you on the Nomad's page once I get it set up.

VuDu 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So one of my life goals is to write a novel. I don't intend to have it published, although I suspect that that is, in fact, what every writer wants for him/her self. A big step I've decided to take in this direction is undertake the physical (mental?) challenge called NaNoWriMo. The NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, which officially by the way is in November.

Yes, it's January, I know this.

And it's two months late, but if you recall, kind readers, I was out of the country then, and it wouldn't have made much sense to write something down without having enough mental time to commit to it. So I opted for January to handle my business.

The task is this: in 31 days to write 50,000 words. You got it. No stuttering or mistypes. I have all this time to bust my ass to write. I've attempted this once in the month of November, but I just couldn't get into it. I stopped maybe around 2K words. Sucks. This time I've got a system down to write, and I'm pretty pleased with it. I knock out a good two hours or so on the computer a day, and I'm good to go. I bring my gear to work to do some of it there, but truth be told, I'm too distracted with colleagues and such to bust it out at all.

So here's what I'm asking you:

1. Forgive me if I'm not on here that much this month. I have brain cells dedicated to finishing this task.

2. I've recruited TWO new writers to the BRL family: Food Avenger  and The Big Aiyah welcomes it's newest writer, Shooter! These two fellas will keep you occupied, I hope, in my absence. I'm also looking for one good woman writer to take over Girl's Night Out, so any of you chicas out there who are down to throw down you let me know.

3. Keep checking with me if you are in close contact with my punk ass to make sure I'm sticking with it. Doing anything by yourself sucks, and I've tried to do it solo, but I'm putting it out there because I can't do it without you.

4. Clocked a little over 5000 words in the last three days, ya'll. See, your encouragement can help tons.

Thanks much all, I look forward to getting "there."  

Voodoo 

Update: Girl's Night Out now up and running.

Posted by Voodoo Child at 11:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I took some time from work today to do the things that need to get done. It never ceases to amaze me just how much is going on when I'm locked away in my cell doing, well, the things that need to get done. In the cell.

So today we got the oil changed, we got the headlamp replaced in my car (therefore it's in the shop and I'm driving my rental POS today), saw a doctor regarding some eye issues, and got that haircut I was due for. It looks good, I have to admit. Went to Daiso, that crack headed place. I got some goodies. If you're in the area, you should check it out.

I'm about to settle in for the project that has nagged me: the Europe trip album. Yippee!

While at Target the other day I saw one of the nurses that has carefully seen me through the massive amount of treatments that I have undergone in the name of health. It's weird to see people out of context, isn't it? I always get scared of seeing students out of the element, especially when I have a fine glass of alcohol in my hand, but hell, I'll raise the glass then leave in a quick minute.

Here's my oh god moment of the day. I'm in my bucket rental, and it's massive windy this AM. I open the door, not used to the weight and feel (guys you know what I'm talking about) of it, and it SLAMS into the car next to me. Twice. Major damage to the other cars. TWICE! Feel like shit over it, but amazed that bucket doesn't suffer any damage.  I manage to learn how to hold the door so it doesn't get caught in the crazy wind gusts, but by then, the wind dies down. Sorry guys!

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

As some of you may or may not go, I had a recent loss in my family. Thanks to those of you who emailed me. It was tough, but to be honest with you, it was pretty hellish. I won't get into detail, as those things are much too private to share, but I will let you know some observations about life and death in Filipino families.

First off, let it be known that death is a very important part of life. It's something that we have discussed openly, about how life ends and what needs to happen afterwards. I know other Filipino families might do something different; I think all families do anyway, but it's the way in which we deal with it that makes it a reality rather than something that just happens and oh well fuck it. 

Funerals are political. Who comes, who speaks, who appears in the slide show, it's all a very pointed portrait of the life of the deceased as well as a statement on where people fall in that person's life. I would hate to put all the family garbage out there, but if certain people don't show, you know there's funk, and everyone in the room knows it. On vacation? Can't get away? Bullpoops.

I got the call to put together the funeral mass, the wake, and all the associated programs and slide shows. I do much of this stuff (albeit not funeral stuff, more work stuff) on a damned regular basis. But not with a 24 hour turnaround. And if you know me, I need my time to do things right. So a couple of late nights to make shit happen happened. Yes, I looked like crap the next day and was slightly mental the whole time, but in the end, it's about the person who passed on, isn't it? I would give her anything I could to make sure she got the best I had. At any cost.

Adversity highlights all that you are, the good and the bad. I have seen, over the last week, the true selves of many people I know and love dearly. For the most part, my opinion of them goes unchanged, if anything I see them in a more beautiful sight. But there are some folks who have revealed themselves to be, despite their intentions, jackasses. That was a confirmation, so now I don't feel crazy when someone says to me, "that person is a total jackass."

That's it for me right now. I needed to take a step away from life (aka this blog) to handle my business because I don't think it would be highly appropriate for me to blog about my observations about life/sex/dogs/cats/the gym/disco music/whatever during this time. It'll be back, I promise, but until then here's something to tide you over, and yes I watched the whole thing so shut up.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's BlackFriday, and I have not really gotten out of my pajamas yet. I know it's almost 4PM, but shit, I'm chillin' right now in my slouchers. I've done some scanning of online shops seeking the cheapest that cheap can cheap. I have truly been surprised; some of the stuff i really like is cheap enough for me to buy...assuming of couse that I have the ends to back it all up.

I'm afraid that this year I'm going to have to limit the givin'. Life sucks like that. So I've cranked up the crochet factory mode and have started making presents. I'm done with...drum roll...one. Yah baby, I'm ahead by one!

After yesterday's feeding zone meal, I'm glad to be dining on leftovers (for I truly do love them so). I also had some good quality time with la familia, esp the cousins. You know how it is with cousins. You don't see them every so often, but you cram 'em all into a room and it's like we never left. So that's the kinda fun we had. 

I'm lovin the downtime right now. Perfect for just coming back from a major trip. I'm still sort of jet lagging, really. I still wake up at 5AM and try to figure out how to get to sleep. I am also trying to get my sleep schedule a little normal. I'm reading today...my favorite nerdalicious thing. I've been given books to digest. Damn.

The good news is that coming back on this week means that there's about 50% of the students gone. That is, they are all skipping this week to enjoy thanksgiving. Man, I wish I could have done that, but I have this needling thing called "Get Smart" that made me go to classes. I got TONS of work done, stuff I told myself I'd take home. But seriously who does work at home. I've tried. It's not fun.

The good news too is that we only have a few more weeks left to go. There's two more after this week, then it's 6 weeks of relative quiet. Then hell again! Voila! I wish that everyone had the ability to get up and leave their work/world for at the minimum for two weeks. If only to just leave and step away. I have to admit, it did wonders for my perspective. Even attitude.

SO here's today's list:  "Things You Learn While Travelling"

1. The liquid baggie thing is a pain in the ass. After my third time taking it out and showing it to the folks at the airport, I just left all liquids in my check in baggage. This is stupid.

2. Sometimes you have to suck it up and pay extra to make your life easier. Taxi or metro when you're dead tired and lugging baggage? Taxi wins every time.

3. It helps if you're nice. If you have shit-smellin' face, you'll probably get crap business. Just smile, say hello in the local language and move on. Honey versus vinegar, bright eyes.

4. Americans? Can spot them a mile away. They're the ones who are annoying, loud, and freakish. Germans, as I have stated on other blogs, are the ones in the sandals with black socks. Italians are the ones being really affectionate. I can't hate on that but it's so cute.

5. Europeans have it right. You sit down to enjoy your coffee. Don't just grab it and run. Sit down. Read the paper. Eat a croissant. Sip. Repeat.

6.  Slow down and stroll. Most of the time we're too busy to see ANYTHING. But if you slow down you'll see much more than you expected.

7. Take things for what they are. Don't get bent out of shape because you have to haul your ass up 5 flights of stairs to your place. Yes it sucked, but hey, we're in Paris, we're near everything we need and WE'RE NOT AT WORK! DUDE! SWEET!

8. Appreciate what you've left behind. Sure you want to get away, but nothing makes the heart grow fonder than getting out of town, doesn't it?

9. Send post cards. I giggle like a little yatch when I get post cards, so I try to send them whenever I'm out and about. Hopefully the Vatican's would have arrived by now, but since I sent one to my house here and it's not here yet, um, yah, you'll have to keep waiting for that bad boy.

10. Speak another language. This goes without saying, but everytime you make the effort you open up a whole other world like Aladdin.

That's it for now...we've got places to go (sales, bitches), and people to visit. Hope you had a good Bird Day, and that your food coma is much better than mine.

Peaces,

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 03:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

In less than 24 hours, me and the Mango are headed to a different continent, probably panicking that I left something inane back at home. I am looking at all the stuff that I've laid out to be packed away, and I'm also checking last minute regulations (that change on Monday, oh my freakin' wonderful luck) to make sure that I don't get all my uber overpriced makeup taken away like my homegirl did. God I'd be mad, yet happy that I get to buy new stuff. Annoying. I'm listening to my baby daddy DVD in the background. Jack Johnson, Live in Japan. He does wonders for my blood pressure.

Mango, as usual, is posted up in front of the tele watching his football. I am frantically awaiting the moment I start packing, but I need to go to the mall for some eyebrow touch-ups and the comfort of shopping for plane food. I'm weird like that. I need food for the plane. Stuff that won't melt...things that harken to comfortables places and times. I'm done with all the halloween candy...that sounds weird, and no I didn't eat it all...but I'm looking for the quality candy that just makes me giggle like a fat kid.

I sent out an email to select readers and others, and if you're not on that email it's because I sent it at midnight or after midnight and was starting to get anxious about getting the information out. I also was coming down from a crazy Filipino/Chinese dinner we had for Mango in Sac. Let's just say this, we were talking about a show called Dancing with SARS and how jacked up that would be. And watching Ma'ala Ala Mo Kaya or however the hell you spell it at the same time. Good times. Again, if you didn't get the email, I apologize, but if you go online and chat with the other active brl'ers you will get the info right away. If not, leave me a comment here and I'll forward it onto you. It's not that I don't love you, it's because I am one cowbow (how DO you spell that) person. And no, just because you ask for it, doesn't mean you will automatically get it.

If you have yet to travel, and no doubt many of you have, please make sure you do, not for business, not even for pleasure...go intentionally for yourself, and find yourself in strange places and situations. I can't help but think how much I've grown because of it. I'm missing out on a lot here by leaving, but I'm okay with it because sometimes you have to step back from reality to figure out where you are.

Just yesterday I had some students take a test that is required for their graduation. I was checking email frantically for them yesterday and I only heard from two of them which freaks me out, quite honestly. I hope they all did well, and I will carry them around me until I return. I try not to do work when I'm away, but the reality is sometimes you need to. I'm not just a counselor, I'm a cheerleader dammit.

So here's to packing and putting my life on hold for a change; this trip is for Mango's birthday and our 2nd year anniversary, and it's time well-deserved. I can't wait to share stuff with you all as well as come back a  happier and healthier person. 

Note: I will likely cross-blog onto both this one and my 'other' blog. Check one or the other, but you know how I am here, it'll probably be a little different over 'there.' If you have no idea what I'm talking about, ignore this side conversation, will you? Thanks. Kisses.

 VooDoo

Posted by Voodoo Child at 01:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

When the horse dies, you need to move the fuck on.

But what I see more often than not are the following:

1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Try new bit/bridle.
3. Move horse to new location.
4. Ride horse for longer period of time.
5. Arrange to visit more sites where they ride dead horses more efficiently.
6. Inicrerase standards for riding a dead horse.
7. Blame horses' parents.
8. Say, "this is the way that we've always ridden the horse.

Enough already.

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A friend and I were sitting around having a discussion about blogging. Metablogging, I guess you can call it. Time after time, I've asked myself what I think about the way in which I as a blogger have revealed certain things about myself (or certain things *not* about myself, but that's fiction for you). The truth is, I can't trip over certain things or certain people because yes I did put it out there. And truthfully, I have allowed myself to be "out there."

A few posts back I was chatting about naked people at Bay to Breakers. Sort of out there like that. Bam.

And with other bloggers, someone asked me, "what should I do when there is someone I want to block from reading my blog?" You can't do anything, homegirl, I said to her. You put it out there, you can't take it back. When I'm teaching my students, I tell them the first day, think about what you put out there, because once it's out, it's out. With websites, you can guarantee that it's out there for a damn good long time, and chances are it's even cached somewhere unless you've got brains enough to actually remove the page and all.

I'm not thrilled that i have certain readers. But what can I do? Stop blogging? The thought has crossed my mind. Lock it away from certain prying eyes? Sure, I can do that too, but why bother. I have taken a huge chance to put it out there, and it's done. Maybe there's something about being older that has allowed me to even stop and look in the mirror before I go buck wild naked at the Bay to Breakers. I used to just, for lack of a better analogy, run out there, past the mirror. Past the world. Do I regret it? Not really, I just know to at the very least check myself.

And checking myself has been interesting because I'm not as interesting (I think) as I used to be. Seriously. It's laughable, at best, but that's just life, isn't it. Or maybe there's another blog you don't know about where I can just handle my bidness? Maybe. Just maybe.

Shit, put it out there again. Good luck finding it, dill pickle.

VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 08:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's not really using a Mac at work and at home. That's not too geeky. But what's uber geeky is installing Ubuntu Linux on my laptop...all by myself! And also installing it in my student's computers too! And tweaking it so it does all my stuff. Word up. I think I really like this interface!

I love it! This is a lot of fun :-)  

/nerd moment over.

VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 03:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

i was at work today, teaching, and I was half prepared, half nervous as all hell. I guess every teacher walks into a situation that makes one nervous because you never know what you're going to get out of class. A student could be a peckerhead, another could be totally lost and shy, and you'd have to work that out...or as my buddy Tim Gunn says, Make it work. Yes, make it work indeed.'

I won't get into details on how it all went, but I likes to keep things simple. I likes to get people in and out, and I'm sensitive to when things change like you know that someone's going to fall asleep in class or you know that you're going to lose someone to IMs or homework from another class.

The funniest thing about teaching is how much impact you can have on the lives of students. I know for a fact that there are students in my class who are only there because they were recommended to be there by a Dean who said, I think you should take this class because you have to work on your study skills, and this is how you're going to learn it. I almost hate those situations because inevitably it's someone who doesn't really want to be there, and this is why they are there in the first place. They need to handle some bidness that's already been handled...in the bad way.

God bless the children.

This is the ideal class tho: mostly newbs who are there to get their shit together. I like that group. Pliable, moldable, and fun to be with. I'm trying out some new technology for my class, that is, using response clickers to be able to gauge how they're following the material and doing tests and what not via clickers. It's pretty comedy, and I hope that it makes class a little more interesting.  I'll keep you posted.

But now that the school year has started, it's more like a little parade of visitors every day, loud voices in the hallway, financial aid hairdos/clothes/nails. I love the beginning of the school year. I remember it as a student too, and it made me so excited to buy books, but then again, books were fairly reasonable to buy and didn't cost you an arm, leg and a small child. 

God I feel old. Anyways, welcome back childrens.

Gotta plan for some exams. Peace.

VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 06:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. Did you see Lance Armstrong without a shirt? Holy shit.

2. Beckham is jobless. To quote another gossip fiend, "Time for Posh to get a job."

3. No water on planes. That sucks real bad.

4. Work is going good. Glad kids are back.

5. Nephrologists are hot.

6. Reading "Essence of Style."

7. Shopping is fun, but better when you have money.

8. Lip balm is good.

9. Talladega Nights is funnny.

10. Clerks II is funnier. 

11. Air conditioning is the bomb.

12. Landis guilty. Baby Jesus cries, and Voodoo sadly turns her back on cycling. Until June 30th, that is.

13. When on vacation, I'm much happier.

14. Had a talk with self. Think things are going good. :-)

15. A neighbor parked in front of the Voodoo Crib and blocked my car, but left a note. A note! That's a first.

That's it for now. will keep you posted with new developments!

VDC 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 09:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Okay. much better template, and much better vibe. Sorry this took so long to do, but Movable Type has taken a while to learn (much longer than I thought!). I also changed the comments (the way you do comments, actually), so hopefully this will work out better than in the past.

In a meanwhile, enjoy.

Peas,

Voodoo 

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I had a life-altering revelation the other day. I was walking to my car, rehashing the day's events on the way home, and I realized that I hate weakness. Weakness, in fact, is a common denominator in some of my lifelong issues and a focal point of some of the problems I've had in relationships.

Before we "go there", I will put this out there: at no point in this essay is directed to an individual or groups of individual, even though it may seem so. Nothing set this off, this was just an observation about life.

As I walked to the car, I almost stopped because there was something shocking about the whole thing, but more so I learned a lot about myself, and I'm grateful for this.

Continue reading "Weakness and Weaknesses" »

Posted by Voodoo Child at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)